Odds and Ends

Is it to early to annoint Justin Masterson as the savior of the Red Sox bullpen and elixir for all bad things known as bullpen with his performance on Wednesday against Seattle? That was pretty impressive.

With the Red Sox and Yankees squaring off this weekend is it to early to wonder, 'Will the Red Sox drop another game on ESPN's Sunday night baseball against the Yankees'? I say the answer is yes. They are 1-3 this season on Sunday nights (1-1 against New York), losing the last three games.

Got Milk? How about got GILF? I always knew that drinking all that milk over the years would pay off and I only need to wait 31 more years to reap the benefits.



Did Jim Rome swallow a thesaurus consisting of current (and not so current) events?

Here's Rome talking in large descriptive phrases regarding Britney Shears, who went rollin Basic Instinct/Kojak style while getting painted and letting K-Dirt plant his demon seed - twice. I heard this clip on the radio a couple of weeks back and can't get it out of my head.

Regrow your drug-free lettuce. First tomatoes are contaminated and now Rome wants Britney to get some drug-free lettuce. How are you supposed to have a salad if the tomatoes and lettuce are contaminated?

I'd love to go into a meeting backed up by Rome's current event thesaurus.

We're here today to pontificate about the big 'R' little 'x' billboards that have surfaced on our part of Al Gore's Internet. We need to develop a plan to get more George Washington's from the Rx companies, and I don't mean the Nino Brown's and the Tony Montana's of the world either. I want some of the Ben Franklin's that the makers of the little blue pill get.

You can get liquids and pills for what ails ya at the A-POTH-E-CARY.

People would be going, "What the fuck is he talking about'. They would be confused not because of what I was saying but rather because the thing inside their domes wouldn't be able to grasp the letters and words I am orating.