Brought Back From The Dead

At 4:20 p.m. on Thursday I was writing this.

Nail Down the Coffin, Put a Fork in Them...

....The Red Sox 2008 season is all done.

It's 4:20 do you know where the trade for Manny Ramirez is? You don't know or can't find it, that's because it was never made. And that my friends (no deadline trade of Manny, or any moves for that matter) is the final nail in the Red Sox season as far as their postseason aspirations are concerned.

At 4:30 p.m. it looks like the text will be re-written to this.

...Brought Back From The Dead...

The Red Sox 2008 season might be headed back on track as the trade that everyone had been waiting all day for, Manny Ramirez to be anywhere but Boston has happened with The Red Sox getting Jason Bay, Ramirez going to the Dodgers and the Pirates getting 4 minor league prospects. If none of the minor leaguers are coming from the Red Sox, then this is a great trade for Boston (as it was the most that they were going to get for Ramirez).

UPDATE 4:50 p.m: Now that I know that two of the four prospects that Pittsburgh is getting is Brandon Moss and Craig Hansen, I don't like the trade. You've given up too much to get Jason Bay. You gave up a Hall-of-Fame outfielder, plus your best minor league OF prospect AND a reliever that throws in the mid 90's, for one player - that's way too much.

I understand the whole addition by subtraction argument, but you go from asking for two players in return for Ramirez to adding two players to the deal to get Ramirez out of here. The Red Sox front office buckled under the pressure of having to get Manny out of town and made a bad deal.

Shocking

I've read and seen some very shocking things on the Internet, which is no surprise because that's what the Internet's for.

And when I think I've watched or seen the most shocking thing out there, I find something to top it.

What I read today is now at the top of the shock list.

This story comes from a former writer who used to cover the New England Patriots for ProFootball talk.

"I heard from someone who is close to the case that there is a sex tape of Bill Belichick banging the married woman he had an affair with. I shit you not. The husband who is suing that woman for being unfaithful to him has a tape of his wife and Belichick screwing while the two of them were still married. Belichick is a very powerful man so I imagine he's doing everything in his power to squash this from getting out but it could only be a matter of time. A part of me doesn't want to see it but another part of me can't help but be intrigued."

A BILL BELICHICK SEX TAPE - Holy Shit.

As much as I would enjoy watching Belichick's cougar girlfriend, Sharon Shenocca, in action (she looks a lot like Shonda Schilling), I would pass on watching the tape because Belichick's in it. I can't imagine any scenario that would be worth watching Bill Belichick naked.

This would explain Belichick's fascination with videotaping the opposing signals from the other teams. I wonder if he broke down the film of him and his girlfriend the same way he broke down the film of opposing teams?

"Bill, how do you feel about this story about your sex life getting out into the media?"

"It is what it is."

"What have you learned by breaking down the film?"

"That our tight ends need to be in a better position and when we get into the red area we need to score. There are lots of areas we can improve upon."

The story also has many other tidbits regarding the Patriots players, such as Tedy Bruschi, Randy Moss, Corey Dillon, but obviously the Belichick thing is the one item that sticks out the most.

No Joy in Mudville

Normally I would save these kind of rants for the Boston Bruins (because the Bruins suck and they deserve to be blasted), but today the ire of the Chicks Dig McLovin blog is focused on a different Boston sports team.

The Boston Red Sox.

The Red Sox will not make the playoffs this year. Yes, I said that and I'll repeat it again.

The Boston Red Sox will not make the playoffs this year.

The Red Sox front office and ownership group should be bending over backwards and thanking Manny Ramirez for being a huge pain in the ass, because all of his distractions have kept the focus away from all of the shortcomings of this team (and there are many).

The lineup is too top heavy. There are 3 gimme outs everytime through the batting order, Catcher (Varitek-Cash), Center Field (Crisp-Ellsbury) and Shortstop (Lugo, Lowrie, Cora).

No depth in the starting rotation. Jon Lester has been 'THE MAN' for the Sox this year, and it's a good thing because Josh Beckett is not the same pitcher that we saw in 2007 and you're third-best starter, Dice-K pitches much better on the road than at Fenway (his ERA is 1.50 higher at Fenway than on the road) and averages only 5 innings a start. It's always an adventure when Tim Wakefield pitches and Clay Buchholz hasn't lived up to his potential.

Bullpen issues. There hasn't been a reliable bridge to Jonathan Papelbon all season. Craig Hansen, Manny Delcarmen, Javier Lopez, Hideki Okajima, Mike Timlin have all struggled.

All of those shortcomings lead to a 40-36 record against teams with winning records and a .500 record against teams in the AL East and West. They are 1-7 against the best team (right now) in baseball, the Angels. And the Angels just got a lot better with the addition of Mark Teixeira.

All the talk from the "so-called experts" on WEEI about them being the best team in the division and being a serious contender for another World Series title is laughable. Maybe trading Manny will give the Red Sox the kind of bump in performance that was gained in 2004 when Nomar Garciaparra was traded. This team needs something to serve as a wakeup call, a kick in the ass or however you want to put it.

Soccer Parents

In signing my son up for his first organized sport, soccer, I've become part of a loving, nuturing, caring community of adults called 'Sport Parents'. All that these parents are looking for is that their son or daughter do the best they can on the athletic field and get an opportunity to participate.

Yeah right.

Since I'm now part of this group, the theme for today's YouTube Tuesday is 'Quality Youth Sport Parents'. The two videos below show the proper way for a parent to act while at their child's athletic event.

First is a guy whose just trying to enjoy a snowcone at his son's Little League game, while trying to convey to his son the importance of staying close to the first base bag. In case the video is slow to load on this page, click here to see it.

Hmmm, I like Snowcones.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

These opposing fans are having difference of opinion on which team is better. It's like being in the stands at a Red Sox-Yankees game.

Random Thoughts, Sights, Sounds - A Potpourri of Knowledge

Today's Randomness will start off with a question. I saw this picture on the web last night and wondered: "Who the Hell is this (and yes, she's someone very famous)?"

My skills of deduction must have drowned in all the rain we've had the last week because I had no idea who it was and still don't believe that the person above is the same person as below.

That's right, both pics are of Katie Holmes, which is impossible. There's no way pic #1 is the same person as pic #2. Tom Cruise's Scientology Aliens must have kidnapped the carefree, happy Katie and replaced her with the lifeless, unemotional robot in pic 1.

Hey look, Jim Rome is making a guest appearance on the Chicks Dig Blog, "What is going on with the lettuce on top of the Dawson Creek girls dome? Katie Holmes - stop using your Flowbee for that mop and get a real cut. What a Freak. The king of the Scientologists, mister couch jumper himself, Tom Cruise has brain washed and stolen our sweet little Katie and replaced her with someone from outerspace. Hey Maverick, get in your jet, do an inverted 180, fly into space and bring back the real Katie."

Thanks Jim.

Moving along, this story marks the end of civilization as we know it (at least for Men anyways). This is wrong on soooo many levels. A guy breaks off an engagement before he gets married and has to pay $150K in damages to his fiancee. WTF?? "He never intended to marry her" Really, then why the hell did he buy a ring?

So now, not only do men get screwed over in divorce (my dad, my brothers and I know all about that) they get screwed over before they get married. Why bother getting married/engaged at all. I tell my son this all the time, "Date a lot of women, not just one woman, but a lot of women". I think it's the most ridiculous thing in the world to have to pay someone not to be married to you. That's legal, but it's illegal to pay for sex. That makes a lot of sense.

This poor bastard has to be saying to himself, I paid $150K to be with that old bag. Yeah, that was worth it. Only former New York governor Elliot Spitzer could spend a $150K on women and think it's worth it.

Here's a tip for all the guys out there who want to screw over their women (let's take back control of relationships). When you're ready to break up with them, take them to the most expensive restaurant you know. Order the most expensive meals on the menu, order a couple of bottles of expensive wine - spare no expense. When you're about to get dessert, excuse yourself from the table, tell your lady friend you're going to the bathroom. Head straight for the exit and never look back. That will teach them to fuck with us.

And finally, football is back with the Patriots starting training camp. There's a lot of questions surrounding a team that won 18 straight games last year.

Is the offensive line really as bad as they showed in the Super Bowl?

Are the linebackers too old and is there enough depth there?

What's the status of the secondary with Asante Samuel in Philly?

Which Lawrence Maroney will show up for the season - the strong runner we saw over the final two months of last season, or the unproductive player that was in the backfield for most of the season?

How big of a factor will the loss of Donte Stallworth be (I think it will be bigger than people think)?

If it's nearly impossible for Tom Brady and Randy Moss to replicate the record-setting seasons they had last year, what will they put up for numbers this year.

Have a great weekend.

Odds and Ends

Is it to early to annoint Justin Masterson as the savior of the Red Sox bullpen and elixir for all bad things known as bullpen with his performance on Wednesday against Seattle? That was pretty impressive.

With the Red Sox and Yankees squaring off this weekend is it to early to wonder, 'Will the Red Sox drop another game on ESPN's Sunday night baseball against the Yankees'? I say the answer is yes. They are 1-3 this season on Sunday nights (1-1 against New York), losing the last three games.

Got Milk? How about got GILF? I always knew that drinking all that milk over the years would pay off and I only need to wait 31 more years to reap the benefits.



Did Jim Rome swallow a thesaurus consisting of current (and not so current) events?

Here's Rome talking in large descriptive phrases regarding Britney Shears, who went rollin Basic Instinct/Kojak style while getting painted and letting K-Dirt plant his demon seed - twice. I heard this clip on the radio a couple of weeks back and can't get it out of my head.

Regrow your drug-free lettuce. First tomatoes are contaminated and now Rome wants Britney to get some drug-free lettuce. How are you supposed to have a salad if the tomatoes and lettuce are contaminated?

I'd love to go into a meeting backed up by Rome's current event thesaurus.

We're here today to pontificate about the big 'R' little 'x' billboards that have surfaced on our part of Al Gore's Internet. We need to develop a plan to get more George Washington's from the Rx companies, and I don't mean the Nino Brown's and the Tony Montana's of the world either. I want some of the Ben Franklin's that the makers of the little blue pill get.

You can get liquids and pills for what ails ya at the A-POTH-E-CARY.

People would be going, "What the fuck is he talking about'. They would be confused not because of what I was saying but rather because the thing inside their domes wouldn't be able to grasp the letters and words I am orating.

A Birthday Today

Today's post will be short and to the point. Today's theme for "YouTube Tuesday" is the answer to 21+15. It's the 15th anniversary of my 21st birthday.

Since I might be the most famous person born on July 22, I leave you with only one video for today.

36 (the answer to my earlier question to those of you who are math challenged), by the Dave Matthews Band. Enjoy.