A Large Whale Has Beached Himself in Tampa

This past December the New York Yankees gave C.C. Sabathia (pictured above) a seven-year, $161 million dollar contact to be the ace of their pitching staff. By the looks of the shape that Sabathia is in this spring training it appears that Sabathia will be the ace of the Yankees staff by default because he ate all of the other pitchers. The reason there isn't any other Yankees in the picture with C.C. is because he takes up the entire frame.

Damn, that is a large man. Are the Yankees paying Sabathia by the pound? Are there incentive clauses in the contract for Sabathia to gain weight? At $6 a pop for a Big Mac Meal in the New York City area, Sabathia can buy 2,683,333 Big Mac meals over the course of his contract. It looks like Sabathia is a few hundred thousand into the 2.68 million Big Mac's that are available to him. Someone should tell C.C. that he can spread the meals out over the lifetime of the contract, that he doesn't need to try and eat them all in as few sittings as possible.

We now know who will be dressed up as Santa Claus for the next 7 New York Yankee Christmas parties. It only cost NY and average of $24 million a year to get holiday party Santa Claus and he won't even need a fat suit. Think of the money they'll save because of it.

If Fat Boy is going to be the person counted on to lead New York's pitching staff for the next 7 years the Yankees are in trouble because there's no chance in hell that Sabathia won't break during that time. My guess is his knee's will give out under the pressure of all that weight.