A-Roid Postmortem

Looking at the above photo of Mariano Rivera, Andy Pettitte, Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada at yesterday's A-Rod press conference (aka the Dog and Pony show for being Young, Naive and Stupid), one thing jumps in my head over and over again:

"Where would you rather be? Anywhere, anywhere but here," from the song Double Agent by Rush.

Seriously, could these four guys look any more disinterested in having to attend A-Rod's mea culpa steroid press conference.

While A-Rod was going a little overboard to show his teammates love and respect (how's an awkward 41-second pause at the beginning of the press conference.), I think I have an idea of what each of the four were responding to that love.

Mariano Rivera: "I wonder how 'Enter Sandman' is going to sound in the new Yankee Stadium with all the different acoustics. They better not fuck with the sound of my entrance music. Damn, look at the crazy logo and face on Pettitte's shirt. That kicks the crap out of the Lacoste shirt (and small alligator) that I'm wearing. I need to get a shirt like that. That would be insane."

Andy Pettitte: "Wow, it was so much easier for me last year, when I was sitting up on that stage, having to admit I took steroids. Sucker."

Derek Jeter: "When is A-Hole going to shut up? Enough already. I have a date with Minka (Kelly) this afternoon. He's cutting into our quality time. I am so gonna get me some."

Jorge Posada: "I wonder if coming to shit like this is covered in my yearly salary ($13 million a year), or can I ask for some extra overtime pay?"

By the way, what is on Pettitte's shirt? That logo is awesome. The face looks like something straight out of the Predator movies. I would buy that shirt, if I knew what it was.