Random Thoughts, Sights, Sounds - A Potpourri of Knowledge

With today being Halloween, I figured we would have a "What's scary" version of this week's Ramblings of Knowledge.

This week's scariness started off with NESN announcing that "The Head" will be replacing Hazel Mae on NESN's SportsDesk. While that was frighteningly scary, here are some other things that are just as scary.


The above photo is scary, nasty, disgusting, sickening, disturbing, and just downright wrong in every way possible.

Why would you? What the F*ck? How big of a bet did this guy lose? It's so disturbing I can't put a rationale thought together. Why not go the whole way and have the number '20' on her jersey and '08' on his.

Other possible phrases the lovely couple could have gone with (as always, ladies first).

"Pussy" "Boy"

"Pussy" "Whipped"

"House" "Bitch"

"Dumb" "Dumber"

"Getting" "Nauseous"

And in five years, the shirts can read:

"Just" "Divorced"

"Bitch" "Bastard"

"Stupid" "Bitch"

"Kill" "Me"

In other scary news: Turtle hooking up with Jamie-Lynn Sigler (aka Meadow Soprano) on a plane during last Sunday's episode of Entourage was pretty disturbing.

But Tony, you say that was only a TV show, that's not real. I'll respond by saying that sometimes fiction sometimes imitates reality.

This from the NY Post:

Elsewhere at the Santa Anita track, Jamie-Lynn Sigler was gushing to girlfriends in a bathroom about her new love interest, Jerry Ferrara, who plays Turtle on HBO's "Entourage." The two met when Sigler played herself on last Sunday's episode, where she lambasted Turtle for telling his friends how he'd "scored Meadow Soprano" on an airplane. In real life, it's definitely more than a one-flight stand.

Happy Halloween everyone, and no, Jamie-Lynn Sigler is not scary.

Too Bad, So Sad

Hey Tampa Bay - HA, HA!!!. How does it feel to be on the losing end of one of the least-watched, least-interesting, least-memorable, least-riveting, no-one-gave-a-shit World Series of all time?

Your organization completes one of the most remarkable regular seasons in baseball history and your appearance in the World Series was so bad the thing that will be remembered most about this Series is the two-day rain delay.

Better yet, not only will your postseason performance be overshadowed by the rain delay, but the 1A thing that will be remembered most by baseball fans is the fact that your team blew a seven-run lead with seven outs left in Game 5 of the ALCS. Then you needed to go to a Game 7 against Boston after racing out to a 3-1 series lead.

Nice job Rays. The Red Sox would have put up a better fight against Philadelphia.

'The Head' is Coming to a TV Screen Near You

Unfortunately New England Sports fans will have to get used to this face and huge cranium, which is so big (and wear the aliens are embedded) that the word 'cranium' isn't large enough to describe it.

This is Cole (don't call me Trickle) Wright and he, along with that fake-looking thing sitting above his eyebrows will be the new (scary) face of NESN's Sports Desk, as Wright has been hired to replace the lovely and talented Hazel Mae.

Let's see, who would I rather see more of Cole Wright or Hazel Mae? That sound you hear is NESN viewers either switching the channel, turning off their TV's or yelling, "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" in disgust.

If Michael Felger can refer to his wife Sara Underwood as simply, "The Wood", then I'm referring to Cole Wright simply as "The Head".

NESN's hiring of "The Head" might be a result of NESN Execs tiring of the onscreen talent sleeping with Red Sox players (which confirms the widespread rumors of Hazel and Heidi Watney). Otherwise, why wouldn't they hire an similarly attractive woman to replace Hazel?

Here's to hoping that "The Head's" stay in Boston is a short one.

Random Thoughts, Sights, Sounds - A Potpourri of Knowledge

Hell has frozen over (and I'm not talking about those idiots from the Eagles either) with the release of this to radio this week.



Let's see, there's a report that the doctor that liked to pretend he was a surgeon and play Operation with Tom Brady's knee called the foremost orthopedic specialist Dr. James Andrews to discuss Brady's situation. Maybe that call should have been placed a couple of weeks ago before Brady had his surgery. Or even better, maybe Brady should have had Andrews perform the surgery himself.

Maybe Andrews could have held a Webinar to show Dr. Neal ElAttrache how to properly perform the surgery without complication.

I feel so much better now knowing that ElAttrache put a call into Andrews. We're that much closer to hearing that the infection will cause Brady's leg to be amputated above the knee.

And finally with the Presidential education day quickly approaching, I realized something today. I'm going to miss Tina Fay as Sarah Palin (two people that I am completely and totally head over heels for).

Here's Fay's appearance as Palin from last night's SNL episode. Check out the wheels on Fey at the 0:24 second remaining mark.

Have a great weekend everyone - enjoy.

Cluttered Mind

I'm sitting here trying to unscramble the mess inside my mind, while awaiting the news announcement that Tom Brady's leg will need to be amputated above the knee as a result of ACL/MCL surgery.

Before the mess is unscrambled, let's talk about Brady's knee for a second. Doesn't it seem like everyday a new story comes out saying that, 'Brady had another procedure done to resolve the infection in his surgically-repaired knee'?

Last week the announcement was made that Brady had one procedure to clear up the infection in the knee. Today, it's being reported that has had two more procedures to clear up the infection in the knee.

I didn't know they are allowing first-year orthopedic surgeons operate on the NFL League MVP. Someone should tell them that this isn't the game of Operation and that they are performing surgery on a real person. It seems like they think they're still working on Cadavers.

The scariest part of it is that the surgeons-in-training might get another shot at opening up Brady's knee as the story in Thursday's Boston Herald says,

"the fear is the patellar tendon graft used to replace Brady’s anterior cruciate ligament is in danger of becoming compromised. Should that occur, the entire ACL reconstruction would have to be removed and redone from scratch. That would push back his rehab and recovery period, which in turn, could delay his return to the field."

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. They should be pretty familiar with the in's and out's of Brady's knee, considering they've been in there three times already.

From the publishers that give us the big blowhard, Dan Shaughnessy, the big story for the Boston Globe in today's online editions is local lawyers appearing in a calendar for charity (the editors of the Boston Herald are killing themselves for not having this first as this kind of crap is right up their alley).

They killed trees to produce this piece of shit calendar? There's only one month worth pointing out (Wendy Savage-Ms. March). The lawyers have nailed down exactly what I'm looking for in a pin-up calendar - a picture of a Mom and her two small daughters. Number of purchases of this calendar 12 (one for each of the people who appeared). I hope the Greater Boston Legal Services charity that is benefitting from the proceedes of the sale of this calendar isn't expecting a huge windfall from it.

If a group or an organization is going to put out a calendar why can't it be the Women of the Boston Media? How many calendars would be sold if the model lineup consisted of Maria Stephanos, Kim Carrigan, Sara Underwood (whom husband Michael Felger simply refers to as 'The Wood'), Heidi Watney, Kathryn Tappen, Bianca De La Garza, Heather Unruh, Anne Allred, Sorboni Bannerjee, Julie Donaldson, Mish Michaels and Dylan Dreyer.

A calendar with that lineup would sell hundreds of thousands of copies and raise a ton of cash for any charity. This needs to happen and would be worthy of a prominent story on Boston.com.

Finally, if the Boston Red Sox are interested in signing Mark Texeira, here's one way it could happen - move Kevin Youkilis to Leftfield, keep Mike Lowell at third base with Texeira playing first. You'd have to reorganize the outfield a little - Youk in left, J.D. Drew in center and Jason Bay in right and Jacoby Ellsbury serving as your 4th outfielder.

The lineup would be a killer. Drew, Pedoria, Oritz, Texeira, Youkilis, Bay, Lowell, Lowrie, Varitek.

The World Series Who Cares Edition

Along with having to see Dick Vitale thrash around for four more games, hearing more stories of retired ladies in the Tampa area getting Mohawks and the potential of Johnny Gomes drinking more beer out of his jock, here's reason number 1,547 as to why Tampa Bay should not be in the World Series (which will the lowest-rated and least cared about World Series in a long time).

Singing the National Anthem for Game 1 in Tampa, I present to you the BackDoor Boys.

Does that mean N'Suck will sing the anthem before Game 2?

Will Philly follow Tampa's example and go with Boyz to Men in Game 3 and DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince for Game 4?

If Boston had won the AL Pennant, they could have broke out the Bobby Brown-led version of New Edition and had NKOTB rock out for Game 2.

In reflecting back as to why Boston couldn't have pulled off another miracle series comeback against Tampa Bay, it wasn't because Tampa was the younger, healthier, more athletic team.

The real reason that Boston lost - there wasn't a signature Dropkick Murphy's song to go along with this season. Think about it, in 2004 there was 'Tessie' and in 2007 there was 'Shipping up to Boston'. What do you instantly thinking of when you hear Tessie - the 2004 Red Sox. The same goes with Shipping up to Boston and the 2007 Red Sox.

The Dropkick Murphy (as Mayor Menino likes to refer to them) need to get on this for the 2009 season.

Random Thoughts, Sights and Sounds - A Potpourri of Knowledge

"I don't believe what I just saw."

That was Jack Buck's famous call in Game 1 of the 1988 World Series as Kurt Gibson was rounding the bases after hitting the game-winning home run off Dennis Eckersley.

That was what I was thinking at 12:20 a.m. Friday morning walking out of Fenway Park and what I am still thinking many hours later after the Boston Red Sox completed the second-greatest one-game comeback in playoff history to get an 8-7 win over Tampa and extended the ALCS to Game 6.

Okay, so I was wrong about saying that Tampa was going to win the series in five games and would win Game 5, 5-2. I admit the error of my ways.

It was good to see the defending champion Red Sox come to life and fight back against a Tampa team that had pounded them at Fenway for 2-plus games.

In addition to leaving the park in disbelief, I left with a few questions rattling around in my head.

Did Steven King finish reading, "When Will There be Good News" during Game 5 or did he start reading a new book last night?

Was last night's win the boost that Boston needs to win the series and stage another dramatic comeback, or will it be all for not by getting blown out in Game 6?

Should Josh Beckett start Game 6 or should it be Jon Lester (on normal rest)?

That's the abbreviated randomness for the week (turns out it wasn't that random). Enjoy the game Saturday, which could be the start of a nice three-day Boston sports Trifecta - Sox-Rays Saturday night, Sox-Rays Sunday night, then Pats-Broncos on Monday Night football.

Have a great weekend.

When Will There Be Good News for Red Sox Nation?

Will it come this evening in the form of a series-extending win for Boston against Tampa Bay? Steven King hopes so. He has a special book selected to read during each of the four Red Sox home World Series games. You don't want to mess with the man's schedule.

I wonder what King has on tap to read during tonight's crucial Game 5 (or does he plan on finishing Kate Atkinson's book)?

No wonder why the Fenway faithful haven't been as boisterous during Games 3 and 4 of the ALCS. It's not because Boston has lost both games by a combined score of 22-5, it's because King has turned Fenway Park into his own personal Reading Room.

"Can you shut the fuck up, man trying to read here"

I'll be attending this evening's game and to make sure I fit in with the new, upscale Fenway crowd, I'll be bringing a book along to read as well. I plan on bringing "Choosing Civility - The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct".

While watching the game I will try and educate the fans around me as to appropriate fan behavior based on some of the Rules of Considerate Conduct the book tries to promote.

* Think Twice Before Asking Favors - Never ask the person next to you to hold your beer, you won 't get it back.

* Give Constructive Criticism - It's okay Papi if you're 0-fer the ALCS, keep your hands back. You'll get them next time.

* Refrain from Idle Complaints - Especially when you're sitting in an obstructed view seat behind a big support beam. Be grateful that you were able to get a ticket.

* Respect Others' Opinions - Especially those opinions of Yankees fans.

* Don't Shift Responsibility and Blame - Leave Terry Francona alone, it's not his fault he's been outmanaged in this series. He's trying his best. Blame the players.

* Care for Your Guests - Ms. would you like for me to hold your hair back as you vomit all over my shoes?

* Accept and Give Praise - Wow, there wasn't that much vomit at all. Thanks for not getting it all over my pants.

Rule #8: You don't bring a book to a Baseball game. What the Hell is the Matter With You?

That's what I'm going with unless anyone else out there has a better suggestion.

Finally, prediction for tonight's game. Typical Dice-K performance, 5 IP, 4 hits, 5 walks, 3 runs and keeps them in the game. Bullpen gives up 2 runs late and the Sox season ends with a 5-2 loss.

A Tampa-Philly World Series. Ugh!!! Baseball season is over. See you in April, as Tampa tries for a repeat.

Public Enemy No. 1 of Red Sox Nation

With the Red Sox season one game away from it's conclusion, I decided to take a different approach at looking at what has gone wrong for Boston during their ALCS matchup with Tampa Bay and who's to blame.

While others are laying blame on the moves (or lack their of) by Terry Francona, the lack of health on the team, the struggles of Big Papi and Jacoby Ellsbury, or the struggles of the pitching staff, I have come up with another reason why the Sox have struggled.

I blame it all on the Curly-Headed Boyfriend from the Boston Globe, Dan 'Shank' Shaughnessy. I blame everything on Shaughnessy (because he's a hack) so this is nothing new.

After Dice-K's masterpiece in Game 1 (which feels like years ago), Shaughnessy wrote in Saturday's Boston Globe.

"It's only one game. So how come it already feels like the Red Sox are going to the World Series?"

That was the lead of his story, and it only gets better. A couple of paragraphs later, Shaughnessy drops this bit of knowledge on all of us.

"So how come it already feels like the Red Sox are going to the World Series?
It just does. There's a swagger and confidence about this bunch. They do the right thing. They let the other guys make the mistakes."

Anyone feel that way after Games 2-4? Tampa's a very good team. Did anyone else besides 'Shank' feel that the series was over after Game 1? Shank did.

"Somebody's got to stand up to the Red Sox and right now it doesn't feel like the Rays can do it. They had everything going for them last night and they came up short time and again. The Red Sox are 4-1 in this postseason and it feels just the way it felt when they went on unstoppable runs in October of '04 and again last year."

Unstoppable runs of 04 and last year, did Dan forget that in those postseasons, the Red Sox had deficits of 3-0 and 3-1 in the ALCS (to New York and Cleveland)? I'm sure after watching New York beat Boston 19-8 in Game 3 of the ALCS, Boston fans thought that the Red Sox were on an unstoppable run. Shaughnessy's first rule of thumb when writing - Never let the truth get in the way of a good line in a story.

By the way, Shaughnessy ends his column this way, in case you were wondering what the point of his column was.

"It's only one game and already it feels like the Red Sox are going back to the World Series."

We get it, you only mentioned it like five times in the course of the dribble that you tried to pass off as a column. Go back home and write some more about how you turned the fence in your backyard into a replica of the Green Monster.

What a tool.

Don't Tase Me, Bro!

What is it with Boston Red Sox fans getting tasered by security at Tampa Bay Rays games? Has the feud between the two teams gotten so bad that Tampa security has taken it upon themselves to take out the Boston fans?

Are they so pissed off at the fact that the crowds for Boston-Tampa games have been mostly Boston fans, so they're sending a message out to the Boston fans not to come to the games in their park anymore? Does Tampa security treat fans of other teams this way?

First, this fan back in September got the taser and during this past weekend's playoff games this Boston fan felt the wrath (and taser) of Tampa security.

But first, what is the deal with the guy (at the 2:25 mark) that's wearing the "You Bet Your Sweet Ass I Hate the Red Sox!" shirt? What kind of shirt is that? There is no way that Boston fans are intimidated by that. What self-respecting guy describes another man's ass as 'Sweet' (I'm guessing he means the creamy, milky kind of sweet)?

That guy has probably been a Tampa fan for about 20 minutes? Up until six weeks ago, he probably didn't even know where the park was or that Tampa even had a team. Fucking Tampa fans, they're a bunch of front runners.

BTW, nice job appaulding by the Tampa Fan camera man as he is filming the Boston fan getting thrown out. You are videotaping a guy getting tossed out, so you decide to applaude (and shake the camera all around) while your taping.

Another typical Tampa fan - a Big Ass. "Good Job". Watching those two idiots makes me even more pissed about the fact that Tampa is going to advance to the World Series and the Red Sox are not.

red sox fan tasered

Next Stop - The Golf Course for the Boston Red Sox

Godamn It!, Goddam It!, Goddam It! (as my three-year-old likes to say).

Boy, Game 3 of the ALCS (a 9-1 loss to Tampa Bay) was fun if you are a Boston Red Sox fan. Maybe someone should have told the players that the game was a 4:30 p.m. start, not a 8:30 p.m. start as they are accustomed to this postseason.

That's two stinkers in-a-row for Boston sports teams, with the Patriots mailing in a pitiful performance in a loss to San Diego on Sunday. But Monday's Red Sox blowout loss to Tampa Bay was much more surprising than the Patriots loss. Did anyone really think that San Diego was going to lose that game Sunday night? If you're not sure about how to respond, the answer is the same as to this question, "Did anyone think that the Boston-Tampa game was going to go beyond the 11th inning once Mike Timlin entered the game?"

The answer to both - a big NO!

The new ace of the Boston staff, Jon Lester, cruised through a four-pitch first inning, then proceeded to give up five runs in the next two innings - end of game, be careful going home, last one out of the park shut the lights. It's not like Lester got any help from the Boston offense, Dustin Pedroia doubles in the first with one out and is left at second and the Sox have runners on second and third in the second with one out and both are stranded.

As much as I applaud Jason Varitek for tagging Heidi Watney, he is really starting to bother me. Tek tells the Curly-Headed Boyfriend of the Boston Globe that he feels "betrayed" with Terry Francona pinch hitting for him in the postseason.

Really, Tek you feel betrayed, well if you got your head out from between Heidi's legs for a second you'd realize that YOU SUCK!!! You want Francona not to 'betray' you and not pinch hit for you late in ball games, then hit a ball to the gap in the second inning and drive in two runs to give Boston a 2-1 lead. Instead, you go and make the second out of the inning without driving in a run.

Know this Tek, you suck so bad that when you're a backup on another team next year, Heidi's going to trade you in for a younger, better player, with more upside - I'm thinking it will be Jed Lowrie.

With Tim Wakefield pitching on Tuesday, does anyone think the Red Sox will even the series, 2-2? Show of hands? Nope, didn't think so.

I'm revising my series pick (I can do that because it's my blog). Now, I'm going with Tampa in 5. No way the Rays lose another game in this series.

If I'm a Chicago Cubs fan and Tampa Bay makes it to the World Series, I'm ready to jump off the Sears Tower. Once Tampa beats Boston to make it to the Fall Classic, that would mean that the last four expansion teams in baseball (since 1993) will have made it to the World Series with two of them (Arizona and Florida, twice) winning titles.

In case you haven't heard, the Cubs haven't won a World Series in 60 years and haven't been to the World Series in 100 years.

Random Thoughts, Sights, Sounds - A Potpourri of Knowledge

Boston vs. Tampa Bay - ALCS - Let's get it on.

And yes, if my track record is any indication, I should pick against Boston (so, they'll win the series and make it to the World Series), but not this time. I'm picking Boston in seven games. I also think LA will win it's series (in 7 as well) against Philadelphia.

Baseball (and baseball fans) needs to have Manny Ramirez, Nomar Garciaparra, Derek Lowe return to Fenway to face the Red Sox. This needs to happen.

There is no way that Tampa Bay can make it to the World Series. The American public needs to be spared from hearing anymore stories about the fact that ladies of Tampa are showing support for their beloved Rays by getting Mohawks's (psst, they aren't getting the mohawks on their heads, but in the other area of their body where dense hair grows).

Also, the first lady they profile in the video, I don't need to know she's getting a Mohawk. I don't want to look at her and think that. She shouldn't be doing that to her body.

Do we really need to hear Joe Buck and Tim McCarver give the details of the ladies in the Tampa area getting a trim to please their boyfriends and husbands between pitches?

Joe: That last pitch from Kazmir was 96. There was really some hair on that fastball.

Tim: Speaking of hair Joe, you no where there is less hair, between the legs of the female fans of the Rays. It seems the latest craze is for the ladies to get Mohawks in their private areas to show their support for the Tampa Baseball team. It's a good thing it's warm in the winter in Florida, because you have a lot of bare women out there.

Joe (speechless): If you say so, Joe.

The Rays fans also like the Cowbell. Who doesn't want more Cowbell.



And finally, the sound of the week, has no sound at all, but I think you'll be able to get the gist of the message the ad is trying to portray while watching the video.

Have a great weekend everyone.

I need a drink (and so do these people)

Based on the financial events the past couple of weeks, we have some new sayings in my household.

"Community College" and "Retirement - Who's retiring?"

So today, I've decided to post some videos of people taking a physical beating as opposed to the financial beating many of us have been going through.

In the first video, the girl symbolizes my retirement fund and the ball is the economy.


Chick Gets Smoked At Dodge Ball - Watch more free videos

This is why it isn't such a great idea to get so drunk around your friends that you pass out.


Passed Out Guy Gets His Legs Burned - Watch more free videos

And finally, Chloe and Keith's marriage starts off a little on the wetside. Why isn't there video of her confronting the best man once she gets out of the pool. That's what we need to see.

Failed Predictions

See, I told you that I suck at making predictions (though, I did get the number of games that the playoff series between Boston and Anaheim would go - 4 - correct). If continuing to pick against the Red Sox and repeatedly doubt their ability as an organization to overcome serious injuries to succeed will get them to win another World Series, I'll do that.

Now that the Red Sox have advanced to the ALCS against Tampa Bay, let's go to a local dining establishment and celebrate with one of these.



Since that is a special sandwich, I think we need a special waiter to bring it out to us. I think this little guy will do.

Random Thoughts, Sights, Sounds - A Potpourri of Knowledge

Today's Randomness starts off compassionately, as we take a look at what our brothers in baseball fandom in Chicago are currently going through.

It's not a good day to be a baseball fan in Chicago right now. Wednesday morning the Windy city was an excited city that couldn't wait for the playoffs to start, but two days later playoff success doesn't look good for either the Cubs (who were booed out of their own stadium after two straight losses) and for the White Sox (who are up against a much better team - younger, more athletic).

If the Cubs lose in the first round (and fail to win a World Series for the 100th year), will they call it the curse of the watered down watering hole or will it be the curse of the preprinted World Series tickets (get a good look Chicago because this will be the closest you'll get to seeing World Series tickets this year).

Staying with baseball, I have to say this about Los Angeles Angels fans - what a bunch of front runners. Did anyone else notice how quickly Anaheim stadium cleared out in the 8th inning Wednesday night after Boston scored two runs and had a 4-1 lead? Is there any chance this would happen in Fenway (with the crowd heading out early)?

By the ninth inning, the crowd was masquerading as fans dressed up as seats (especially behind home plate). There were a ton of empty seats and then you heard the "Let's go Red Sox" chant. If they played a couple of more innings, it would have turned into the home game for Boston.

And finally, here's a side of Sarah Palin that we didn't see during last night's 90-minute VP debate. Enjoy.



Have a great weekend everyone.

Predictions that suck...

...because I suck at making predictions.

You can analyze and dissect Boston's playoff series with Los Angeles from any angle that you like but it all comes down to this - an injured Mike Lowell, J.D. Drew and Josh Beckett mean that the Red Sox are not at full capacity. Beating Los Angeles is a huge task and trying to do it while three of your best players are hurt isn't the way to beat the Angeles. Los Angeles wins in the series in 4 games.

I might suck at making predictions, but I'm pretty sure that Chicago Cubs fans are going to be extremely pissed about not being able to drink in bars around Wrigley in the Cubs are playing a series-deciding game at Wrigley.

This is typical for Cubs fans as this year Chicago has their best chance to win a World Series and the city of Chicago isn't going to let them celebrate by having an adult beverage (or two or twenty).

This poses a moral dilemma for Chicago Cubs fans. Would you want to experience the Cubs winning a World Series in Chicago and taking the game in at a local bar but not be able to drink to celebrate? Or would you rather see the team win the World Series on the road, so you can continue binge drinking until the final out?

hmmm....