Celebration

I'm a long time follower of sports and have seen my fair share of strange sporting event celebrations in my day, from Joe Horn placing a cellphone in an endzone and pulling it out after he scored, to Terrell Owens signing a football and giving it to his agent after scoring and even Chad Johnson's gotten in the mix by diapering the football like a baby after reaching the endzone.

Those crazy European soccer players have made the act of celebrating an art form. They make professional football players look like the junior varsity while they are the varsity.

I admit I played soccer growing up and I liked the sport. I have a good understanding of the game. What I don't understand is why Cristiano Luceralli is performing the Missionary position on his jersey after scoring a goal? And why are his teammates running up to hug a topless player who is in the middle of performing a sexual act on his clothing? Wouldn't seeing that cause you to stop and make you re-think any thoughts you may have of joining his pigpile?

And what does Luceralli break out the next time he scores a goal? How do you top the tried and true Missionary? Do you try a different position - the doggie style, perhaps, maybe a little '69? Does he get a teammate to join in for a threesome? The possibilites are endless but is the imagination and creativity there for Luceralli?



What is wrong with the Europeans? Can you imagine what NHL commissioner Gary Bettman's reaction would be if a hockey player did this? His head would explode. If Bettman's going to suspend Sean Avery six games for saying "Sloppy Seconds" then how quickly do you think Bettman would impose a lifetime ban if someone pulled this while on the ice?

After watching that video it makes SNL's Andy Samberg want to Jizz in his Pants.