Even at the ripe old age that I've reached I'm still learning every day and here's a few things that I've learned recently.
New England Patriots fans were all suckers for thinking that Brett Favre could lead the New York Jets to victory over Miami on Sunday to get the Patriots into the playoffs. Favre can never be trusted to play well in a big game. He's more likely to have a three-interception game (like he did yesterday) than play well.
Brett Favre is the most overrated player in the NFL, see the fact that he was voted to the Pro Bowl this year and Matt Cassel was not.
One thing for Patriots fans to remember this morning as they cry over the fact that an 11-win team didn't make the playoffs. The Patriots went 1-4 against teams who reached the playoffs in the AFC, and got blown out in three of the losses. That doesn't bode well for your argument.
The Patriots now hold the distinction of being the best team to lose the Super Bowl one season and not make the playoffs the following season all within the same calendar year.
The was no chance in hell that Mark Teixeira was going to sign with Boston, even if the Red Sox had offered him $180 million as the New York Yankees did. If Boston matched New York's offer, they would have just offered more and Teixeira would have taken it.
All the callers who have dialed up WEEI since Teixeira signed with New York and have taken the stance that Teixeira wouldn't have made the Red Sox better because they still have Mike Lowell, David Ortiz, Kevin Youkilis and Jason Bay in the middle of the lineup are idiots. Teixeira WOULD have made the Red Sox a much better team in 2009 and beyond and if you think otherwise, take off the Red Sox-colored glasses because you're stupid.
After experiencing another fun-filled, festive Christmas, I have to agree with Michael Felger, who on Wednesday of last week was advocating for Christmas being every two years. I just want to say, 'Christmas every two years - sign me up'. There's no need for it to be every year. It's supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, and many people are going around miserable because 'there's so much to do'. Well, if it doesn't all get done, who cares.
With Christmas Day rapidly approaching I know that there are many of you out there still scouring the stores, looking for that perfect gift for that special someone.
I too have been in that situation, up against that 6 p.m. Christmas Eve deadline when all the stores at the Mall are closing, leaving you no choice but to head down to the local convenient store to buy a bunch of scratch tickets and cheap wine to give out as gifts.
So I'm here to help. Guys, here's the best gift you can give to the little lady in your life. All it takes is some imagination, a box, some wrapping paper and a bow.
Not to forget the ladies out there, here's something to get the man in your life, is something that is right up your alley, and fun for the whole family - the Ball Buster.
Thought to be around since the dawn of time (or at least the days of Adam and Eve), the Ball Buster game made it's debut in 1975. Before the days of cable TV, the internet, cellular phones, and personal computers this is how women spent their free time with their husbands - busting their balls. So if there's a special set of balls out there that you want to bust, pick up the Ball Buster game.
There's even a young girl shown busting some pre-teen kid's balls - get used to it son, it only gets worse as you get older.
And finally with the last minute Christmas gifts out of the way, Happy Festivus everyone. I hope all of you have plenty of grievances to get off of your chest.
Okay, I know, the blog posts have been coming in dribs and drabs the past few weeks, and you're saying to yourself 'What the hell is up with that'?
I admit, I've been lacking the inspiration to write on a consistent basis over that time, but on this dark, dreary, cold pre-winter day, I've found that inspiration.
With Brad Pitt as a Menacing Lion and Mikey from Swingers as a Big Bear leading the charge, pleading to me to dash off to my keyboard and polish off another blog post, I am so inspired and ready to accept their challenge.
So I offer up to you this bit of inspiration, 40 times over, to move you to do whatever you need to do to get through your day.
I'm a long time follower of sports and have seen my fair share of strange sporting event celebrations in my day, from Joe Horn placing a cellphone in an endzone and pulling it out after he scored, to Terrell Owens signing a football and giving it to his agent after scoring and even Chad Johnson's gotten in the mix by diapering the football like a baby after reaching the endzone.
Those crazy European soccer players have made the act of celebrating an art form. They make professional football players look like the junior varsity while they are the varsity.
I admit I played soccer growing up and I liked the sport. I have a good understanding of the game. What I don't understand is why Cristiano Luceralli is performing the Missionary position on his jersey after scoring a goal? And why are his teammates running up to hug a topless player who is in the middle of performing a sexual act on his clothing? Wouldn't seeing that cause you to stop and make you re-think any thoughts you may have of joining his pigpile?
And what does Luceralli break out the next time he scores a goal? How do you top the tried and true Missionary? Do you try a different position - the doggie style, perhaps, maybe a little '69? Does he get a teammate to join in for a threesome? The possibilites are endless but is the imagination and creativity there for Luceralli?
What is wrong with the Europeans? Can you imagine what NHL commissioner Gary Bettman's reaction would be if a hockey player did this? His head would explode. If Bettman's going to suspend Sean Avery six games for saying "Sloppy Seconds" then how quickly do you think Bettman would impose a lifetime ban if someone pulled this while on the ice?
After watching that video it makes SNL's Andy Samberg want to Jizz in his Pants.
Far be it for me to point out that we live in a crazy world with all that's happening with our economy and the situation in India, but when athletes start getting suspended for what they say on TV and to the media, the world has become all askew.
Athletes are chastized all the time for being boring, robotic and standard-quote machines, so when an athlete such as Dallas Stars' forward Sean Avery comes along it's pretty refreshing.
Avery had this to say to a full contingent of media on Tuesday before Dallas game against Calgary, "I am really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about. Enjoy the game tonight."
Avery's mentioning of 'sloppy seconds' is intended towards Calgary's Dion Phaneuf, who is dating ex-Avery love interest, Elisha Cuthbert and LA's Jarret Stoll, who is dating another ex-Avery love interest, Rachel Hunter, Avery has now been suspended barring a hearing with NHL commissioner Gary Bettman. For what you ask, it's not like Avery pulled Sloppy Seconds on Bettman's wife or anything.
There's many different ways that Sloppy Seconds can get you in trouble, but seriously, is mentioning 'sloppy seconds' to the media enough to get you suspended from your job? This is so wrong. Avery never mentioned anyone specifically by name or attacked anyone's character, yet he's suspended. If talking about Sloppy Seconds gets you banished from the workplace then half of the college population wouldn't have anywhere to go after graduation (besides grad school).
Oh well, I'm all about ending things on a good note, so in more uplifting news, here's something that's right in the world, Tina Fey. Ms. Tina was profiled in this month's Vanity Fair - Yummy!!! (photo from this month's Vanity Fair)
This is my attempt to write a novel about a boy named Joshua, his mother, Sandi, an outsider named Michael and the results of their lives becoming intertwined.
