This is Nasty

What is the expression that is used a lot in sports - Act like you've been there before.

I hope this is not the case for Tampa Bay's Jonny Gomes, as I hope he hasn't been there before and hasn't made drinking beer out of a jock strap a routine part of his celebration ritual.

Here's how Gomes celebrated Tampa's clinching of the AL East title.

Rumor has it that the cup that Gomes is using is to sip his beer out of is that of teammate Dioner Navarro. The other part of the rumor is that Navarro's cup is game used.

If true - that's just wrong.

Here's hoping that either Chicago or Minnesota defeat Tampa Bay in the first round of the playoffs.

Random Thoughts, Sights, Sounds - A Potpourri of Knowledge

Let's see... The Patriots are on a bye week this weekend and the Red Sox are playing three meaningless games (who would have thought that when the season started) against the New York Yankees the next couple of days.

As a result of this being a free weekend (free from sports anyways) this would be the perfect weekend to partake in the annual New England family fall ritual of apple picking. But add to that three days of rain (which will wash out any chance of watching those boring Red Sox-Yankees games) and that my friends makes for one pretty boring and uneventful upcoming weekend of no sports or apple picking.

The Red Sox still have a mathematical chance of winning the division, but the chances of that happening are on par with me dating my favorite Hollywood actress. Yes, it's mathematically possible but the chances are two-fold - slim and none.

Gratuitous Sarah Palin photo - had to be done to spice up this blog entry (which was getting as boring as our sporting options to watch this weekend).

In the words of that famous sportscaster Dick Enberg, "Oh My!!!"

The video below shows why the rest of the world doesn't have any respect for the United States. It's not because our President is an idiot, or because our economy is in the toilet, or the fact that we've been in Iraq way to long (which is perception not reality), it's because we have citizens like this who make us look bad.

Why would you think getting pepper sprayed in the face would be a good idea? How do you reach the point where having your buddy blast you in the face with pepper spray would be fun.



Pepper Spray Idiot - video powered by Metacafe

And finally, is this a woman who looks like she needs to protect herself with a handgun? By the looks of her, I would go no where near her (gun or no gun). Why doesn't she do society a favor and shoot the gun who wanted to get pepper-sprayed in the face? She's angry because they took away her concealed-weapons permit because she brought her gun (though looking at the picture, that's not a gun, that's a cannon) to her 5-year-olds soccer game. She can't figure out why they took away her permit.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Mea Culpa

On July 30th, I wrote "that the Red Sox will not make the playoffs this year." My statement was made based the fact that the Red Sox was in the midst of losing (with some real bad baseball) 5 of 6 games against New York and Los Angeles and were struggling against teams with records above .500.

I'm here today to say that I was wrong, and that I'm glad that I was wrong with the Red Sox clinching a playoff berth with last night's victory over Cleveland. Now the Red Sox appear to be headed for a playoff matchup with Los Angeles (where they'll get swept, but that's for another day - today we celebrate getting the Sox getting into the playoffs).

In addition to there being October baseball in the Red Sox future, last night's win was also good some the standpoint that we got to see a champagne-soaked Heidi Watney in the Red Sox clubhouse. Though, I have to say that it was a little disappointing to not actually see her getting doused with champagne. She started her post-game interviews already soaked. Where's the footage that all of New England wants to see and why was it left out?

Check out a wet Heidi whispering sweet-nothings into the ear of David Ortiz. Seeing this was worth being wrong about the Red Sox playoff chances.

And from the "This Didn't Take Long" category, Boston getting into the playoffs also knocked the Yankees out of the playoffs and gave Hank Steinbrenner a chance to shoot off his mouth about how the setup of the playoff system is unfair - Pussy.

In non-Red Sox news. I can't stop laughing while watching this. Has there ever been a more appropriate song choice for a dancer in the history of dance. "Most wasted asses than Fanny and Freddie."

J-E-T-S fans - DUMB, DUMB, DUMB

As much as it sucked being a Patriots fan on Sunday, we still have fans of the NY Jets to pick on. Being a fan of the Patriots still beats being a fan of the Jets anyday.

The fans of the Jets entered the season with the highest of expectations after the team acquired Brett Favre. The expectations of the Patriots fans are a lot less now with the loss of Tom Brady. But despite Favre continuing to be Brett Favre (throwing two int's on Monday, with one being returned for a touchdown), the Jets fans still hold out hope for a successful season.

But on Monday night, Jets fans showed again that they are not too bright (and why they are in for a huge let down this season). This is what happens when you let them loose in Southern California.

J-E-S-T, JEST, JEST, JEST - What a bunch of clowns (as in jesters). I'm guessing the guy on the right didn't take a look down at his shirt (where Jets is spelled properly) before holding up his signs.

And since this is 'YouTube Tuesday', I'd be remiss if I didn't post one of the most famous NY Jets videos ever created. It shows the intelligence of the organization.

Random Thoughts, Sights, Sounds - A Potpourri of Knowledge

With the weekend soon upon us, here's something for those of you out there looking for something to do between watching College Football, NFL football, baseball and the Ryder Cup.

Though this won't take long, so you could do it while watching all of those things (you might not remember much of the games afterwards). It's pretty impressive.



Six beers in 10 seconds, granted to cups were a little less than full but, that's impressive. I can't drink 6 cups of anything (never mind beer) in 10 seconds.

After watching the next video (the events of which within the video is definitely something you DO NOT want to have happen to you over the weekend), I have one question. "How good do you have to know someone before you confess that you've crapped your pants?" How well does George Brett know those Royals players and coaches to tell him about something he does, "twice a year," or does he just figure, "I'm Hall-of-Famer George Brett, I can tell anybody I want that I shit myself -they have to listen to me. I can go up to anyone and start a conversation with I shit myself last night."



And finally, the Quote of the Week once again comes from my three-year-old son Dylan, who several months back took QotW honors when he said he wanted to, "Sell Mommy on e-Bay,". Dylan dropped this nugget of knowledge on both my wife and I last evening as my wife was nagging me about something, "Daddy, (then long pause as to say you poor, poor man), you need a girlfriend."

My reaction - I totally lost it and couldn't stop laughing for 10 minutes. My wife's reaction was a little different "He says that because that's what you and your brother teach him" - Ahh, no we don't. I've never told him that.

That's my son. I tell him he needs to date lots (I'm talking hundreds) of women and he tells me that I need a girlfriend. He now has a free pass/get out of jail free card for any troubles he may get into/cause for the rest of his life.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Beat Down in the Trop

All of Red Sox Nation could relate to the way this Red Sox fan was feeling at this moment during Wednesday night's 10-3 loss to Tampa Bay. Boston gets their ass handed to them on the field while drunken Red Sox fan gets a beat down from the cops (who are keeping the drunken fan off the field).

Wednesday's loss was like a double loss for the Red Sox. Boston loses 2 out of 3 in the series, drop 4 of 6 against Tampa Bay over the last 10 days, are two games out in the standings (instead of leaving Tampa tied for first), and lose the season series (and the AL East tiebreaker) to the Rays 10-8.

Both Boston and Drunken Boston Fan are 'Screewwed'.

With the number of the day at 4 (Boston's magic number for clinching a playoff spot), I am torn about who I will root for in Tampa's upcoming four-game series (starting Thursday) with Minnesota.

Is it better to hope that Tampa keeps winning, which will get Boston into the playoffs quicker, or is it better to root for Minnesota, and hope that Boston can repeat the success they had with Toronto last weekend this weekend up in Canada so Boston can catch Tampa for the division title?

Reaching the playoffs (and getting some rest for the starters) is great but winning the division (and avoiding Los Angeles) maybe better.

Boston Red Sox Fans, Tina Fey, Justin Timberlake - They're All Here

We got a variety of videos to post in today's Awkward Edition of 'YouTube Tuesday'.

With the Boston Red Sox in Tampa for two more games this week against Tampa Bay, I decided submerge myself more into this important series by watching (and re-posting) my favorite Red Sox fan video as he terrorizes Tampa Fans.

"The Rays want a shot at a title, they have to come through us. Not now Chief, I'm in the zone."



I'm a huge Tina Fey fan, and a big Sarah Palin fan. So now we have Tina Fey portraying Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live.

That in a word is - Outstanding. As far as the excitement meter goes, it pretty much put me over the edge. Fey and Palin, two great 'tastes' that go together - like chocolate and peanut butter.

Fey is such a dead-on ringer for Palin I wonder if her husband will say to her, "Honey, would you mind dressing up as Vice President Palin tonight when we go to bed. That would be awesome."

Below is part of Fey's performance as Palin. You can see the full video here. Hey, Hillary there's nothing wrong with the "Tina Fey Glasses"



And finally, since we're talking about Saturday Night Live, here is my all-time favorite SNL skit, and no it's not 'I need more Cowbell'. Rather, it's a special present for all the ladies out there.

Random Thoughs, Sights, Sounds - A Potpourri of Knowledge

The Randomness starts off a little music-news heavy this week.

It's finally here. The album that Metallica fans have been waiting for since 'And Justice For All' - Death Magnetic. And it is outstanding. After listening to 75-minute masterpiece the majority of Friday morning, the leaders in the clubhouse for best songs on the album are the 10-minute instrumental epic Suicide & Redemption, Cynaide and My Apocalypse.

As much as I looked forward to hearing the entire Death Magnetic album, there's a new band that has formed and is releasing a new album early in 2009 which will either be really, really great or really bad and awkward. The name of the band is 'Chickenfoot' and it's members are Sammy Hagar, Michael Anthony, Chad Smith (drummer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers) and get this - Joe Satriani. This could be the greatest band ever created or the biggest track wreck/car crash in music this side of the whole Boy Band era.

Not that it's members don't have high expectations of the group, with Hagar already saying that that, "the band could rival Led Zeppelin", and Satriani saying that the "music reminds you of early Led Zeppelin."

Losses in the final two games of the Tampa Bay series, makes this weekend's series against Toronto much more significant than it would have been if the Red Sox had been able to pull out those final two games of the Tampa series.

Toronto is probably not high on the list of the teams that the Red Sox would like to be facing this weekend as they traditionally struggle against the Blue Jays. Add to that the fact that Toronto is one of the hottest teams in baseball right now (winners of 11 of their last 12 games), and the four starters for the Red Sox this weekend are: Tim Wakefield, Paul Byrd, Bartolo Colon and Jon Lester and Boston will have their hands full this weekend.

Hey, Matt Cassel no pressure this weekend in making your first start since the Y2K bug was on everyone's mind while the opposite QB has made 257 consecutive starts and the last time that Favre missed a start was when Cassel was 10 years old.

And finally, the Russians certainly know how to construct a playground for kids, check out the area the kids are coming out of and what it looks like.



Happy weekend everyone.

Always Remember...

...and never forget the events that took place seven years ago and the thousands who lost their lives on this day September 11, 2001.

And always remember and never forget all of the men and women in the Armed Forces who have sacrificed so much since then to ensure that such an attack hasn't happened since and won't happen in the future.

Beaten up New England Sports Fans

If Tom's Brady's season-ending knee injury was a flush kick to the groin of New England sports fans, then Tuesday night's ninth-inning defeat to the Tampa Bay Rays was a punch square to the jaw of Boston Red Sox fans.

It was all set up for the Red Sox to take back first place, with their own two-run rally in the eighth inning and their All-Star closer on the mound looking to get the final three outs. The 5-4 loss might have been the most devastating loss of the season for the Red Sox.

Weeks from now, will we look back at Tampa's two-run ninth inning rally off Jonathan Papelbon as the game that stopped Tampa's early September slide, propelles them to hold onto first place in the AL East and stops the Red Sox run towards first place?

Or was it merely a bump in the road as Boston eventually catches the Rays for first place?

Josh Beckett will have a lot of say in starting to answer those questions as he takes the mound Wednesday night in the series finale. A good start from Beckett and a Sox win tonight goes a long way in shaking the confidence of the Rays. A Tampa win and a 2.5 game lead on Boston with less than 20 games to play, only will strengthening the confidence of the Tampa players.

Brighten Up Your Day

With all of New England feeling similiar to how this BMX rider feels on a dark and dreary rainy day:


http://view.break.com/565275 - Watch more free videos

Talk about taking one on the chin, with the Franchise Tom Brady out for the season, today's 'YouTube (and photo) Tuesday' will be all about things that will make New England fans feel better.

It could be worse, we could be New York Yankee fans right now. Talk about a bunch of front runners for fans. Your team makes the playoffs 13 straight years and now your wearing bags on your heads because your team is in fourth place.

Looks like a lot of fans went to the Stadium dressed as chairs.

The Boston Red Sox have a legion of fans called, 'The Pink Hats' and it describes women who have recently become fans of the franchise and wear pink hats to the games. They are sometimes annoying, but I have yet to see a man wear a pink hat. I can't say that about the male fans of the New York Jets. Nice hat buddy, did you lose a bet? Could your socks be pulled up any higher?

And finally thank god for the female newscasters from Fox News, who aren't shy about showing off their wheels to the audience. Could the skirts be any shorter, especially the one women in the blue long sleeve turtle neck. Nice ass check, honey. It's a wonder that any of the male broadcasters spend any time looking into the camera and not looking over and down to their left and right. When are these ladies going to be appearing on Skinamax?

Random Thoughs, Sights, Sounds - A Potpourri of Knowledge

We'll start off today's randomness with a 'Separated at Birth' (always good for a laugh).

Jason Priestley

Grizzly Adams.

Jason Prestley - WTF dude? You ruled West Beverly High back in the day, where you beat the legions of women admirers off of you with a stick (it's a tough job - I have the same problem). The Peach Pit was your castle where everyone bowed down to your coolness and now you look like your auditioning for the lead role of the Grizzly Adams biopic. Have the aliens come down and got you like they did Katie Holmes? Are you trying to become Natalie Portman's next boyfriend? The world's a better place with Brandon Walsh in it. BRING BACK BRANDON, BRING BACK BRANDON.

One person I don't want to bring back, rather let him go far, far away and never been seen again is the Boston Globe's Dan Shaughnessy.

Shaughnessy is really turning in the Pulitzer Prize winning copy with his last couple of columns, one on Thursday about what life would be like if the Patriots had won Super Bowl 42, and one earlier this summer about his replica of the Green Monster in his backyard. Talk about mailing it in. Why do you still have a job?

Shaughnessy go away - no one cares about your backyard or how the world would have turned out if the Pats won the Super Bowl. You're entering John Tomase status as the most hated writer (if you're not already) on the Boston Sports Scene.

Speaking of writing on the Boston Sports Scene is their anyone left to cover sports for the Boston Herald? Does anyone read the Boston Herald anymore, especially when you can get riveting coverage from the likes of a John Tomase? In the last few weeks they've lost sports writers Rob Bradford, Michael Felger (both to WEEI.com) and Tony Massarotti (Boston Globe). It might be time for the Herald to bring back Joe Fitzgerald, Kevin Mannix, George Kimball, and Tim Horgan all out of retirement.

From yesterday's Washington Redskins fantasy football draft, Chris Cooley's team is screwed this week based on the performance of Jason Campbell (only 133 yards passing and 1 TD) and Shaun Shazham (1 PAT).

He better have drafted some great players at other positions or it's going to be a long season of fantasy football nightmares, the cold sweats and cuddling up in the fetal position next to Christy Cooley (who, based on the video, is totally in love with Peyton Manning). Chris Cooley didn't do Campbell's team any favors having only 1 catch for 7 yards. BTW, that video might be the greatest video ever - I can't stop watching it. I think a bounce back year is coming for Steve 'I'll beat you up' Smif. The next 14 games, there gonna fill his rail'. I love Fred Smoot.

And finally we'll end the week on an upbeat note and once again mention our favorite candidate for Vice President - Sarah Palin, who absolutely killed during her VP speech on Wednesday evening.

Not only is Palin a lawmaker but she's also an actress, as I swear I saw her play the role of teacher/stripper, Miss Davis in Varsity Blues (looks like a match to me). Actually, the acress who was Miss Davis in Varsity Blues, and went to the prom with Billy Bob was Tonie Perensky.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Football Players Aren't Very Bright...

....when it comes to fantasy football, they can grasp a playbook that's hundreds of pages in length and has thousands of plays but they can't grasp how to draft a fantasy football team. But they'll get a pass because their wives/girlfriends are smokin hot.

Last night, I had my fantasy football draft, (and no my team name isn't 'ChicksDigALongSnapper, or ChicksDigMcLovin'sTightEnd) and the draft went fairly well for my team (aka MikeVick'sRapeStand).

Recently several members of the Washington Redskins held their fantasy football draft, led by commish Chris Cooley. And there's a seven-minute video of it (which is posted below).

I'm like a kid in a candy store because there is so much to say about these few minutes of video that it's insane.

Unlike the league that the Redskins players are in, the commish of my league didn't pass out fantasy football magazines to all of us, promise that he'll go in and adjust all of our rosters based on whose playing and won't print out sheets letting us all know how we are doing.

By the way, why am I not surprised that a football player (specifically Jason Campbell) is dating a girl named 'Mercedes'? The best girl named Mercedes in the history of women being named Mercedes was Heather Graham in 'License to Drive'.



Anyways, back to the fantasy football draft. The following conversation occurs at the 27 second mark.

Does everyone have a magazine?

"No".

"You have a magazine in your hand"

Cooley gives the following instructions "When someone's picked cross them off of your sheet so you don't repick them." Clear enough, count how many times a player is taken who has already been selected - 6 Times. Santana Moss hasn't been crossing off names, because he didn't want to write in Cooley's book. Moss went to the University of Miami - he doesn't know the first thing about books.

Safety Reed Doughty needs to wear a thicker helmet when he plays, because he's taken too many shots in the head. Check out how he pronounces LaDanian Tomlinson (1:18 mark). Either that or he was completely intimidated by the hotness of Chris Cooley's wife, Christy (she's to his right).

Who the hell takes Len-Dale White, in what seemed like the first round? No wonder why Cooley called it a 'Gay pick'. FYI, White went in the sixth-round (overall pick #81) of a 14-team league in my draft.

Even the kickers get the hot chicks - check out Shawn Suisham's woman - damn she's hot (white dress with the trees on it). As Cooley points out, she probably calls him 'Shawn Shazam' in the rack.

I need to find away to get Fred Smoot into my fantasy league next year. The entertainment value he would provide at the provide would be worth the cost to get him to New Hampshire. "Jon Kitna was going to be my backup behind Timmy Brady."

And without any further lead-in here's the video of the Washington Redskins' fantasy football draft (and Mercedes and Cooley's wife will win the league).



And for those who want a better look at Christy Cooley, here you go. Enjoy.

Fantasy Football Rules

With my fantasy football draft being held this evening, the theme for today's "You Tube" Post is Fantasy football.

You know you've reached the a certain level of immortality when a Budweiser, 'Real Men of Genius' song has been dedicated to you - in this case fantasy football.



The other big happening this evening is Sarah Palin's speech at the Republican National Convention. t's probably the most anticipated VP speech at a National Convention, in the history of National Conventions and will garner many more male viewers than usual. Why shouldn't I have a third straight post promoting the MILFness of Ms. Palin? What's wrong with that?

Next Principal of Gloucester High School - Sarah Palin???

If this whole Vice President thing doesn't work out for Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin (nice wheels by the way, and I'm not talking about the bike), and she's looking to move to the East Coast, Palin could apply to be the next principal at Gloucester High School. She'll have plenty of first-hand experience dealing with teenage pregnancy. Palin's quickly moving from MILF to GILF status.

It was reported on Monday that Palin's 17-year-old daughter, Bristol, is five months pregnant (and unmarried). Don't be surprised if several of her classmates follow suit announcing that they are also pregnant, revealing a Gloucester High-West scenario. Let the teenage pregnancy pact copycatting begin.

By the way, what's the deal with her kids names - Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig (whose middle name is Van, so he's Trig Van Palin. It sounds like Van Halen on purpose, because everything in the universe revolves around the mighty VH and Sarah Palin loves Van Halen)? If you're pushing out that many kids, wouldn't you be spending a lot of time looking at kids names? Shouldn't the names be more along the mainstream, rather than sounding like they were names that were picked based on a sport, a city, a tree, a plane (or wrestler) and a math subject.

Based on the names of her brothers and sisters, I'm guessing Bristol Palin will name her son or daughter, Stream, Tree, River or Sky. Maybe she'll name the kid Seven or Soda.

Random Thoughts, Sights, Sounds - A Potpourri of Knowledge

Today's post will truly be random, as we'll be all over the place talking about events that have occurred over the past several days.

First off, with today being Labor Day, which traditionally marks the end of summer, happy end of summer everyone. Thank God it's over, because I hate the summer. The only good thing about the summer is the lower volume of traffic going to and from work.

Now that we are in baseball's final month of the regular season and the Red Sox trailing Tampa Bay by 6 in the loss column, you can kiss the AL East title goodbye. The Red Sox had a good month of August, but Tampa was better, as they continue to show that they are the better team (with the best winning percentage in baseball after five months).

I went to the final Boston Red Sox-New York Yankees game at Yankee Stadium last Thursday, and it ended as my other two trips to the House That Ruth Built ended with - a loss. I finish my Yankee Stadium career at 0-3, watching the Sox blow late leads in two of the games (which always makes for a more arrogant, cockier Yankees fan). Pair that up with the 8-hour trek home and it was a win-win day :p. I do have to say, as far up as I've sat in the upper tiers of the ballpark, there's not a bad seat in the stadium. The site lines are outstanding. But it's a good thing they're building a new stadium, because the amenities and the room in the concession concourses suck.

So, as my intake of games at the original Yankee Stadium ends, a new level of baseball fandom begins, with my son going to his first Red Sox game at Fenway Park last Friday (along with experiencing riding on the Subway system for the first time). He enjoyed watching Wally the Green Monster and having a Fenway Frank and ice cream in a helmet.

Saturday proved that you can take seven years off between rounds and still play Golf, but you will really, really suck at it. I sucked when I played seven years ago, I really sucked on Saturday and quickly remembered why I haven't played since July, 2001.

I've saved the best item (and my personal favorite) from the past couple of days for last. On Friday, with the announcement of Sarah Palin as his choice for Vice President, John McCain has secured my vote in November (though, he had it all along) and has won the race for the White House.

Any Presidential nominee who can introduce the word 'MILF' into the vocabulary of discussing the election with Obama is okay by me. WOW, the guy can sure pick himself an attractive woman. The guy has such good taste, how can you not vote for him. In past presidential elections the candidates have tried to secure the "soccer mom" vote as a way of winning the election, not McCain, he's going after the MILF-lovers vote, and now he'll get it with his wife, Cindy.

And he'll get it based on his choice of Palin, who is a former runner-up for Miss Alaska. Palin's got a little Julia-Louie Dreyfuss-Tina Fey to her.