Roger Clemens' Seven Deadly Sins

Since this blog's conception (a whopping 2.5 weeks), I've prided myself on being able to come up with at least one entry per weekday, be it about sports, funny videos, technological advances, lunar eclipses, etc.

But yesterday, for the first (non-holiday) weekday, I did not have a blog entry. I would like to be able to say that I took a full day off so you, my captive audience, would have a day to digest the awesomeness that is the Jimmy Kimmel is fffing Ben Affleck video and to bounce back from the horror that is the 1986 LA Dodgers doing the Baseball Boggie.

But alas, I'll chalk it up to a busier than usual workday combined with the fact that I was finishing my week 1 assignment for my Risk Management class.

But, I'm back today and all I can say is "Thank God for Roger Clemens". I could probably come up with six months of blog entries about how much of an idiot Roger Clemens is.

The question that I pose to all of you is, "Is Roger Clemens the most famous athlete to be incarcerated?" because there's no doubt about it, Clemens is going to Big Boy Jail and he's going to be there for a long, long time. Yesterday, was a great day for Michael Vick, who is also saying 'Thank God for Roger Clemens', because no longer is Vick the biggest idiot athlete out there.

That title now goes to Clemens, with Barry Bonds right behind him. I wonder if Bonds and Clemens will be cellmates in the Federal Pen. Will there be a cell big enough to contain the two bloated and puffed up stars? How about a cell big enough for Bonds to put his fat head in, does that exist?

Yesterday, the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee asked the Department of Justice to investigate seven possible perjury charges of Clemens based on his sworn affidavit that he gave to Congress a few weeks back, in preparation of his Dog and Pony show in front of the House Oversight committee several days later.

Clemens didn't just lie once to Congress, as Rafael Palmeiro and Miguel Tejada have (or have been accused of), he's being accused to lying to Congress seven times.

Roger's Se7en Deadly Sins:

"I have never taken Steriords or HGH" - Yeah right, that would be like me saying that I have never drank a beer or had a class of wine

"Brian McNamee has injected me with Lidocaine" - which turned out to be a complete surprise to McNamee, supposedly the one doing the injecting. McNamee said before Congress that the first time he knew about injecting Clemens with Lidocaine was during Roger's 60 Minutes Interview.

"The trainers of teams that I played for gave me pain injections" - the team doctors from the Red Sox, Blue Jays and Astros have said that wasn't the case.

"I have received many B-12 shots" - supposedly given by McNamee which was a complete surprise to him, and to the team physic ans of the Red Sox, Yankees and Astros

"I have never discussed HGH with Brian McNamee" - which might be the most entertaining of all of Clemens lies. Several times during his public hearing before Congress he denied ever talking to McNamee about HGH, saying, "I have never talked to him about it". Then later within the same hearing admitted that he called McNamee twice after his wife had a reaction to HGH, which McNamee had injected into her.

"I was not at Jose Canseco's house from June 8 to June 10" - the infamous Canseco pool party that Clemens went to great lengths to dispute that he was at. This has nothing to do with the accusations of steroids or HGH, but Clemens felt necessary to lie to Congress about anyways. Too bad there's a photo at exists of you at the party. Kind of puts a hole in your defense.

Finally, "I was never told about Senator Mitchell's request to talk to me about the Mitchell Report" - wrong again, Roger, wrong again. Several letters were sent to your agents (and the agents of all the players named in the Mitchell Report) from the lead counsel of the Mitchell report asking to meet with you. It's hard to believe that the your agents didn't tell you about those letters.

Hopefully Roger likes the color orange, because it looks like he'll be wearing an orange prison jumpsuit for a long time.