Steve Phillips proves again his evaluation skills suck

(Brooke Hundley/Steve Phillips photos courtesy of WEEI, in case you hadn't noticed yet).

As a married man and father, I can't condone anyone cheating on their spouse. That being said, I can certainly understand how/why infidelity can take place. Plus, I'm of the philosphy of 'if it makes you happy, then what the hell, life is short, go ahead and do what makes you happy.'

So if cheating on his spouse makes ESPN commentator (and former New York Mets GM) Steve Phillips happy, okay, so be it. Good for Steve. But my god, man if you're gonna cheat, wouldn't you want to be with someone other than Brooke Hundley.

I'm not seeing it. Cheating on your wife with Brooke is comparable to having a night out away from the wife and kids and spending it by going out to dinner at McDonald's and then going home. C'mon Steve, if you're gonna cheat, get caught and put in the effort to have an extra-marital affair you better live it up a little. You've wasted a golden opportunity here. What the hell is wrong with you.

You hooked up with the female version of Eric Mangini. Give Brooke a short haircut like ManGenius and you've got ManGina's sister. Phillips should be careful, with all this publicity surrounding Brooke Hundley, Alex Rodriguez may notice her and dump Kate Hudson to try and get a piece of her. She's his type of woman.

It appears that Steve's got the same evaluation skills of women as he did of baseball players - shitty. Look where it got him, fired from his job with the Mets and no longer working in baseball. I guess this isn't the first time Phillips cheated on his wife and was a pretty common occurance during his marriage. I wonder what the other girls look like.

Shaughnessy's Putting Crap Together Piece by Piece

That's what Boston Globe's Dan Shaughnessy does well and because of it he's known as the Crap Master.

Yes, I've written chapter and verse about how much Shaughnessy sucks and how in this day and age of writing about sports it's a miracle how he still has a job, but is column on Wednesday gives us more fodder to analyze, dissect and critize.

Nuggets of knowledge that Shank delivers are as follows:

Today (Wednesday) would have been the off-day at Fenway. With four games down, the Red Sox and Yankees would have worked out and prepared for tomorrow night’s Game 5.

Really, the Yankees would have had Wednesday off if they played the Red Sox instead of the Los Angeles Angels in the ALCS. Cool, oh wait, they Yankees did have Wednesday off and they weren't playing the Red Sox. That means the schedule they have is the exact same no matter which opponent they were facing. I'm glad that Dan pointed that out to us.

Speaking of what might have been, a couple of local students went to Tanzania last summer and reported several sightings of “Patriots 19-0’’ shirts and hats being worn by the locals.

Dan's once again showing how he stays current, talking about the whereabouts of the Patriots 19-0 shirts. I, along with many other sites, wrote about the fate of the shirts and there whereabouts back in February of 2008. Good job, Dan.

Phillies-Yankees World Series? The first since 1950, when the Whiz Kids were swept by the Bombers. Philly should bring back the Whiz Kid uniforms. And get ready for the Whizzinator jokes.

I have to give credit to Dan for this tidbit. Talking about the 1950 Whiz Kid Phillies is timely, because the only people who read Shank on a regular basis are old enough to have seen the Whiz Kids play in person. Though he might lose that audience with his reference to the 'Whizzinator jokes'.

Speaking of a Phils-Yanks World Series, I'll bet anything that Dan uses this line in an upcoming column

"Phils-Yanks, a matchup of a team that has won their past two World Series (Philly) against a team that has lost their last two World Series (New York)." Maybe not in this context, but there will be some kind of reference to the fact that New York has lost their last two World Series at some point.

It's coming, remember you heard it here first.

Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp and Celtic sub Shelden Williams were high school teammates in Midwest City, Okla

Dan is the King of the Connections. Along with this one he's given us these connections in the past: Roger Clemens and Renee Zellweger both grew up in Katy, Texas. That Duke's Gerald Henderson is the son of the Gerald Henderson, who played for the Celtics in the 80's.

Finally, Dan shows that he's on the side of the common man when it comes to ticket brokers and he's not going to let the big bad Red Sox and the ticket agencies push us around.

I’ll never understand why it’s OK for the Red Sox to go into business with companies that sell tickets at elevated prices. I realize this is tapping into the “secondary market,’’ but didn’t we used to call that “scalping’’? Who thought we’d live in an age when scalpers could buy air time on the club’s flagship stations?

Psst, Dan I don't know if you got the memo, but StubHub is the official ticket broker of Major League Baseball. Every team works in partnership with a ticketbroker, StubHub. Actually Dan, the Red Sox are the only ones who aren't using StubHub, as they are using AceTicket instead.

Once again Dan Shaughnessy shows why he's a must read by bringing the knowledge that only an experienced veteran of the Boston sports scene can bring.

What Lies Inside

lying here inside you
hidden deep inside

i've been here for an eternity
lying inside

you're going to be me
what's lying inside

you won't escape the path in front of you
lying inside

you can't see me, but you'll feel me, buried
lying inside

spreading Fear and Death consumes
lying inside

what lives inside you now is
becoming bigger inside

the Goodness all gone, see what you'll become
what's lying inside

Havoc and Terror will be your path
all along the outside

what lived within you is gone
see what is to come

i'm what a waits you
lying inside

Human Eclipse

I didn't think it was possible:

That the new Alice in Chains album would be as great as it is;

That the Boston Red Sox would be swept out of this year's playoffs by the team formerly known as 'Our Playoff Bitches', the Anaheim, LA Angeles. Yes, I'm still bitter.

That Tom Brady would only have 6 touchdown passes after 5 games. I'm pretty sure that during the 2007 season he probably threw 6 touchdown passes in one half of one game while the Patriots were accused of running up the score against their opponents;

and finally;

That there is someone in New York City who is actually bigger than New York Yankees pitcher C.C. Sabathia. Holy Jesus. Look at the above picture of New York Jets coach Rex Ryan. WTF is under that tarp he is wearing as a jacket? There's either several basketballs stuffed under there or he's the male OctoMom.

Is Ryan this fat so his offensive and defensive lineman feel better about themselves and don't go around thinking they are a bunch of fat slobs? How is he able to stay upright and not just tip over like a Weeble (weebles wobble but they won't fall down)?

Allegedly Ryan is 345 pounds, yeah okay. That's like me saying that I only like music a little bit. And how long do you think it's been since he's been able to see his manhood? Seriously, that thing hasn't seen the light of day in ages, dust off the cobwebs and let some light shine in there.

I bet Ryan has had a few (hundred) of these in his time.

A Little Pick Me Up - The Video

A Little Pick Me Up

Here in New England, the after effects of Black Sunday are still resonating (at least for me anyways).

Between the misfires of Papelbon and the Sox (could Pap have been any more hittable?), Brady (who easily choked two easy TD passes, to Moss and Welker) and the Patriots, the usual suckiness of the Boston Bruins (how's that opening season 5-game home stand working out for you now?), it appears that Boston sports fans could be in for a long winter (hopefully the Boston Celtics won't fall into this trap). The Decade of Excellence for Boston sports teams maybe coming to a close.

On a night that sure feels like the coldest so far of the fall season, I've decided to lift up our collective spirits a little bit.

Esquire magazine has recently featured British hottie Kate Beckinsale as their Sexiest Woman Alive. While all sexy and sultry, Ms. Beckinsale has that girl-next-door quality that many guys (especially me) are looking for.

I'm not a Johnny-come-lately to the Beckinsale bandwagon either, as she is at the top of my Hollywood Top 5 wish list (followed by Rachel McAdams, who has gotten mad love from the Chicks Dig McLovin site, Elizabeth Shue, Heather Graham and Tina Fey, again another Chicks Dig favorite). Kate Beckinsale is Outstanding - well, done, Esquire magazine, well done indeed.

Here's a link to her video from the Esquire photo shoot (I may also post the video in a separate post). I bet the old man from the previous post who's in the Mac Store checking out porn will be looking at Kate Beckinsale's photo shoot video once he gets off the Hot College Co-Ed's website.

And to show that this post isn't for Guys only, here's a video from the first movie that Ms. Beckinsale caught my eye, the romantic comedy, Serendipity. She stars along side one of my favorite actors John Cusack (of course he is, I'm a child from the 80's). Kate first appears at the 2:35 mark - fantastic.

Yes, Serendipity is a chick flick but it's got a great cast. In addition to Cusack and Beckinsale (love the British accent), it's got Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven), before he was Ari Gold. Tom's Brady's Baby Momma and Mrs. Tom Brady wanna-be, Bridget Moynihan plays Cusack's financee. John Corbett is Beckinsale's eccentric financee, who wants to have a feast with Viking warriors while playing Midevil music with a fancy flute. All that put together with some Molly Shannon splashed in for flavor makes for a great movie.

Elderly man in front of a computer in a Suburban Mall

Yes, this blog post title is a play on words of Pearl Jam's 'Elderly woman behind the counter in a small town' song title.

I can't believe that this is my first blog post in nearly 5 months, but I've been inspired to put a little something together because I have gotten a glimpse into my future 40 years from now. I now have something to strive for - to live as old as this gentleman and do what he's doing.

Yes, it's what you think it is - this gentleman went into a crowded Apple store and is looking at Porn. Old men have huge balls (literally and figuratively). I've said it before and I'll say it again, old people don't give a shit what they do and what others around them think about what they are doing. He's probably seen a lot of crazy stuff in his life, possibly experienced combat in WWII or Korea; nevermind what this country has experienced in his lifetime, so do you think he cares what people think about him looking at Porn in a public place, of course not.

This guy was Jonesing for a naked girl fix (he probably saw some young hotties at the mall) and headed to the closest place with public computers and internet access - of course an Apple store.

At least now he's got an interesting answer to that age-old question, "So what did you do today?" "Not too much, I went down to the mall, walked around, had some Sbarro, looked at some Porn at the Apple store, got some Mrs. Fields cookies, and headed home."

My question is this: Does this situation open up new marketing opportunities for Mac in the highly-sought after demographic of 'Elderly men who like to look at Porn' computer user. It appears that Mac is beating PC early on in this race.