The Picks are In..

and the NCAA 2009 Men's Basketball tourney winner will be....

North Carolina.

Yes, I know real exciting. I'm really going out on a limb by picking the Tar Heels.

I'm known for being off the wall and crazy with my picks as I had all four Number 1 seeds (correctly so) going to the Final Four 4 last year, with North Carolina winning. Stupid Kansas Jayhawks, they're stupid.

If at first you don't succeed, then pick the Tar Heels again.

I stayed away from picking all the top seeds to reach the Final Four again this year and went with Louisville, Memphis, Pitt and NC, with Carolina beating Memphis in the finals.

Let the Madness begin.

A-Fraud is a Major Tool

I'm sure this will play well for A-Fraud in the New York Yankees clubhouse and in the New York media. Can't this guy stay out of the news for one week, even when he's hurt and not playing?

He literally just kissed (not only himself) but the chance at a World Series title away, because there is no chance that someone who kisses themselves in a mirror will ever win a championship. New York fans take heart because that means no World Series title for the Bronx Bombers for the next nine years.

By the way, who the hell kisses their own image in a mirror? What is that? A-Fraud is so stupid that he thought that this photo would play well/was a good idea - idiot. All those steroids rotted out his brain. I'm sure A-Rod is in favor of human cloning so he could have another version of himself running around to check out and make googly eyes at.

Again, just another example of money (10 years, $300 million) well spent by the Yankees. First A-Fraud, then C.C., the whale, then A.J. Burnett (who will turn out to be a newer, as-often-injured version of Carl Pavano).

It's a Rite of Spring, the Boston Bruins Still Suck

It's March, that must mean it's time for:

A spring training column about the Boston Red Sox. Nope

A NCAA tournament column. Nope.

How about the annual 'Boston Bruins Suck, They are Going to Choke in the Playoffs Again.' column?

"Bingo, we have Bingo. Ding, ding, ding, ding."

There comes a time during every Bruins season (no matter how successful) where I look up and say. "The Bruins suck, they've always sucked, and they'll continue to suck."

While the Bruins have been very good this season to a point, it never fails that they will ultimately show their true colors - that they are not that good and that fans will again be disappointed with a poor showing/knockout in the first round.

It may have taken a little longer, but we've now reached that point of this season with the Black and Gold. Over the past five weeks, they've won six times (in 18 games) and have seen their previously thought of insurmountable point lead in the East dwindle to six points. New Jersey (six points) and Washington (seven points) are creeping closer to the top spot.

If they are able to hold on to the top spot, it may not mean much as Boston would face tough first-round challenges against Florida, NY Rangers, and possibly Pittsburgh. Though, the Penguins have played better as of late, moving up three spots out of the eighth spot they were fighting for last week.

Man, I hope the Bruins play Pittsburgh in the first round because the Penguins would kill them (as they did on Sunday) and I would win my bet. It would again prove that it doesn't matter where Boston finishes in the standings because when the weather gets warmer the Bruins won't fail to disappoint.

A Large Whale Has Beached Himself in Tampa

This past December the New York Yankees gave C.C. Sabathia (pictured above) a seven-year, $161 million dollar contact to be the ace of their pitching staff. By the looks of the shape that Sabathia is in this spring training it appears that Sabathia will be the ace of the Yankees staff by default because he ate all of the other pitchers. The reason there isn't any other Yankees in the picture with C.C. is because he takes up the entire frame.

Damn, that is a large man. Are the Yankees paying Sabathia by the pound? Are there incentive clauses in the contract for Sabathia to gain weight? At $6 a pop for a Big Mac Meal in the New York City area, Sabathia can buy 2,683,333 Big Mac meals over the course of his contract. It looks like Sabathia is a few hundred thousand into the 2.68 million Big Mac's that are available to him. Someone should tell C.C. that he can spread the meals out over the lifetime of the contract, that he doesn't need to try and eat them all in as few sittings as possible.

We now know who will be dressed up as Santa Claus for the next 7 New York Yankee Christmas parties. It only cost NY and average of $24 million a year to get holiday party Santa Claus and he won't even need a fat suit. Think of the money they'll save because of it.

If Fat Boy is going to be the person counted on to lead New York's pitching staff for the next 7 years the Yankees are in trouble because there's no chance in hell that Sabathia won't break during that time. My guess is his knee's will give out under the pressure of all that weight.

The Foot of the Chicken Will Stomp All Over Your Audio Senses

Yes, I'm pimping out Chickenfoot today on the Chicks and McLovin Dig Chickenfoot blog. Below is their latest audio clip off of their website: http://www.chickenfoot.us/

Very raw, heavy sounding song. Very cool.

A-Roid Postmortem

Looking at the above photo of Mariano Rivera, Andy Pettitte, Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada at yesterday's A-Rod press conference (aka the Dog and Pony show for being Young, Naive and Stupid), one thing jumps in my head over and over again:

"Where would you rather be? Anywhere, anywhere but here," from the song Double Agent by Rush.

Seriously, could these four guys look any more disinterested in having to attend A-Rod's mea culpa steroid press conference.

While A-Rod was going a little overboard to show his teammates love and respect (how's an awkward 41-second pause at the beginning of the press conference.), I think I have an idea of what each of the four were responding to that love.

Mariano Rivera: "I wonder how 'Enter Sandman' is going to sound in the new Yankee Stadium with all the different acoustics. They better not fuck with the sound of my entrance music. Damn, look at the crazy logo and face on Pettitte's shirt. That kicks the crap out of the Lacoste shirt (and small alligator) that I'm wearing. I need to get a shirt like that. That would be insane."

Andy Pettitte: "Wow, it was so much easier for me last year, when I was sitting up on that stage, having to admit I took steroids. Sucker."

Derek Jeter: "When is A-Hole going to shut up? Enough already. I have a date with Minka (Kelly) this afternoon. He's cutting into our quality time. I am so gonna get me some."

Jorge Posada: "I wonder if coming to shit like this is covered in my yearly salary ($13 million a year), or can I ask for some extra overtime pay?"

By the way, what is on Pettitte's shirt? That logo is awesome. The face looks like something straight out of the Predator movies. I would buy that shirt, if I knew what it was.

Mandy Moore is Marrying an Ugly-Looking Dude

Here we have the very lovely, multi-talented Mandy Moore. She's perky, attractive, sexy, cute, is easy on the eyes to look at, and totally personifies that 'Girl Next Door Look'. The prototypical 'Someone you want to take home to Mom'. But someone whom if you want to aspire to date, you should definitely bring your 'A' game.

Here we have the still-lovely Mandy with her now fiancee, Ryan Adams. Two three letter words come to mind after looking at this photo (and it's not - hot).

Huh?, and WTF??

Are you serious - why are the hot chicks still going for ugly guys? This continues to baffle me. Do they think it will make them seem hotter?

Does this phenomenon (hot chicks with really ugly guys) happen anywhere in the world outside of actors/musicians? I don't personally know anyone who is playing as far above the rim as Adams is? Talk about way out of your league - it's the difference between playing Major League Baseball and playing Class A minor league baseball.

Why is Ryan Adams going for the Mike Mills (of REM) mid 90's look? I doubt it worked for Mike Mills back then. Adams is rockin out the 'I'm homeless, have the bad hydrogen-peroxide dye job and living out of my car look.' I am not a fan of Ryan Adam's music, but from the several 30-second snippets I just heard on iTunes, it sucks, and you're not missing much.

This is on the level of Natalie Portman and the Wilder beast that she was dating last May. Though, I gotta he honest, I think Mandy's Moore's taste in men is more egregious than Natalie Portman's. I say it'll be 2-3 years before Mandy realizes she's with a really hideous looking man and dates a guy more to her level.