Random Thoughts, Sights, and Sounds - A Potpourri of Knowledge

Today's Randomness begins with a photo from a Life is good T-shirt. This is the same image that's on my t-shirt today, which is appropriate because yours truly has survived the 2007-2008 academic school year of Northeastern University's Master's Program. So how about a round of golf applause? Though, I have one more assignment, which is the stupidest most-wasteful time-consuming exercise known to man, to complete before Saturday evening.

By the way, as an FYI it will cost you $154,000 to rent a private plane for 4 passengers to take you from Rome to Boston, Something to think about as you are planning that next vacation.

Moving on to the bodily function portion of the program, comes this story about St. Louis Rams running back Steven Jackson, which will introduce a word never uttered on this blog.

Colonic.

In preparation for the upcoming season, Jackson felt the need to clean himself so he went and got himself a colonic. This sounds like a wonderful procedure, which everyone should experience in their lifetime and will be an hour well spent.

"Peristalsis "pushes" feces out through the hose to be disposed in a closed waste system.
The client and the colon therapist do not smell the feces. The therapist usually looks at the feces through the clear hose, and may comment on the color."

The comments from Doc usually go something like this: "You had Mexican and corn for dinner last night, didn't you. Sure looks like it was tasty."

Jackson got the idea of doing this from his girlfriend, who also got a colonic at the same time. Would that be like getting a couples massage? Also, is this something that you do with your boyfriend/girlfriend on the second date or should it be later on?

If it turns out that Jackson comes to enjoy having this procedure, he could move to Russia, as this story shows how the people in Russia feel about the enema.

"An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

Does that mean the Russians live in a shithole? They can change the name of the town to Shittown (obsecure reference to a song on the Throwing Copper CD by Live).

Our final bodily fluid reference of the day comes courtesy of new Celtics draft choice, Bill Walker. Walker, taken in the second round of Thursday night's NBA draft, gives new meaning to the expression, "When you gotta go, you gotta go" as he once took a leak on the court during a middle of game at Kansas State. I've taken a leak in some unusual, non-traditional bathroom locations (ask me about the ATM in Kenmore Square during my bachelor party), but this is a little out of the norm.

And with that, I wish all a good weekend.

Embarrasment

It's good to know that athletes can do stupid things like ordinary people and embarrass themselves, which is today's theme on "YouTube Tuesday". I'm no better than the people I'm going to showcase below (reference my drunken karoke rendition of Stairway to Heaven during Spring Break way back in 1994. Being on stage for 8 plus minutes, with no singing ability whatsoever, seemed like a good idea at the time), but it's funny to see athletes make asses out of themselves.

First up we have Jonathan Papelbon and Manny Delcarmen doing their best Milli Vanilli, singing 'Blame it on the Rain' which the Red Sox played during last Friday's rain delay against St. Louis.
After watching this video, a couple of things stand out. Delcarmen looks like he's getting into his role of Vanilli too seriously and in looking at Papelbon as Milli, Papelbon should stick with teaching craps to Hideki Okajima.

As a sidenote, it's good to know that the Red Sox are maximizing every possible advertising dollar as the rain tarp is even sponsored - it has a huge Bob's Stores logo in the center of the diamond.



Now we have the latest video by Shaq Diesel, Shaq Fu, or whatever the big man, Shaquille O'Neal wants to be called, posing a question to Kobe Bryant: "Tell me how my ass tastes".

Random Thoughts, Sights, and Sounds - A Potpourri of Knowledge

With the celebration of the Boston Celtics 17th NBA title winding down, the other Boston champions, the Boston Red Sox, have been standing in the shadows the past few weeks, waiving their arms, saying, "Hey, what about us?"

Today, they are really making the most of their opportunity to re-grab the spotlight. The Sox open up a three-game series against the St. Louis Cardinals, who are making their first appearance to Fenway since the 2004 World Series. Quietly, the Red Sox have remained the best team in baseball, posting the best record (along with the Cubs) as they near the mid-point of the season.

The Sox, specifically Curt Schilling, refocused the attention of the Boston sports fans back towards the Red Sox with Schilling announcing on Friday that he will be undergoing season-ending, and potentially career-ending, shoulder surgery next Monday.

Schilling posted a 53-29 regular season record (along with 9 saves) with the Red Sox in his four years here. More importantly, he went 6-1 in eight postseason starts in helping the Boston win the World Series in 2004 and 2007.

Overall, his career mark was 216-146 with a postseason record of 11-2. He was a 20-game winner three times, and made 1 All-Star appearance. The discussion around whether he will be voted into the Hall of Fame will largely be focused around his dominance in the postseason, as he and John Smoltz have been the two most dominant postseason starters of their generation. I don't believe he gets into the Hall solely based on the merits of his regular season performance. He will always be know as a 'big-game pitcher' and that is what the voters will have to think of he his time on the ballot comes up.

Not only was the Boston Celtics season a success on the court, it was a beneficial one for me, as I tuned into more Celtics games on the radio and realized what a good broadcast team Sean Grande and Cedric Maxwell are. Maxwell might be the best radio commentator in the league, as he could say something memorable at anytime.

His "LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU" scream of a call, directed towards Paul Pierce during Game 6 of the Eastern Conference finals as Tayshawn Prince tried to come up from behind Pierce and steal the ball was a pretty hilarious call, but Max not to be outdone topped it with a call during Game 6 of the NBA finals.

In the final seconds, Grande was waxing poetically about how the mission has come full circle and that the Celtics were back on top after 22 seasons, and in the middle of what Grande hoped would be his signature call, Maxwell screams out, "I GOT THE BALL!!!" as a rebound of the final shot ended up in his hands.

Max is classic.

With this being the Random Thoughts, Sights, and Sounds weekly post and now that were are into Sounds portion of the program, I leave you with smooth sounds of Jim Kosek, meteorologist from Philadelphia. Channel 5 needs to get rid of Harvey Leonard or Channel 7 needs to ax Pete Bouchard or Channel 25 can push Kevin Lemanowicz out the door so Jim can come to Boston. He's awesome. I want him screaming at Maria Stephanos "ARE YOU COMING ON TO ME!!"

Gloucester Girls Are Easy

Since my mind is in schizo mode today, it has won the battle for the type of blog posting will appear today - it will be a bunch of randomness.

Gloucester Massachusetts, known for the Gorton's fisherman and the main characters from the movie 'The Perfect Storm' will now be known on a national level as a Teenage Baby factory, based on an article in this week's Time Magazine. These girls could start a new industry in the town (with the fishing industry not doing so well) - Baby Mamas.

Turns out teenage girls (mostly under 16) at Gloucester High are looking to get pregnant so they can all raise their babies together. Like one big baby-factory community.

A couple of things stood out to me while reading the article.

Gloucester girls are so desperate to get knocked up, that they are having sex with homeless guys to get pregnant. Is that a slam against the boys at Gloucester High and a reflection of their (non)ability to get the job done.?You can't even use the old expression "Slipped one past the goalie", in this instance because The goalie's been pulled and the net is left empty.

That during this school year more than 150 pregnancy tests had been administered at Gloucester High's student clinic. That's means a lot of sex has been going on in the backseats of car's and in parent's basements all over the North Shore town.

Girls are disappointed when they find out that they are not pregnant - If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

In other news:

The only person happier than Celtics fans that the NBA playoffs are over (no more bitching about 9 p.m. starts) is ABC sideline reporter Michelle Tafoya. Why is Tafoya so happy you ask, because she won't have to worry about players and coaches making uncomfortable passes at her during halftime/postgame interviews. Phil Jackson, Doc Rivers and Kevin Garnett have all remarked about Tafoya's appearance and how good she looks during interviews this postseason.

I'm not sold on Tafoya's looks yet. Her appearance might be enhanced because of the aura that goes along with being a female sideline reporter (with the attractiveness of Erin Andrews and Heidi Watney, et al.). If Tafoya had an office job and you saw her randomly on the street would everyone be commenting on how good she looks? Doubt it.

Since today is Boston Celtics parade day in the Hub, I leave you with one more Boston Celtics video - enjoy.

Welcome To Titletown

Memo to all the head honchos at Planet ESPN. Re: Ways to save your company a lot of money in airfare, hotels, meals, cabs and other travel expenses this summer? Call off this stupid charade of visiting 20 cities to find out who Titletown USA is and just award it now to the most obvious choice.

The City of Boston.

We've won every other title over the past few years so why shouldn't we win this win one as well.

The Quest for NBA Title#17 ended last evening for the Boston Celtics as they extracted a beating upon the LA Lakers in Game 6, the likes of which we haven't seen since Mel Gibson was strapped down on a slab at the end of Braveheart. The Celtics carved the pride out of the Lakers players during a 34-15 advantage in the second quarter and left them beaten by the side of the road.

With today being YouTube Wednesday (see yesterday's post for explanation), today's videos will commemorate the Celtics victory. A quick note before we get to the videos. In looking for videos to post, I saw some videos that showed Kevin Garnett in his Minnesota uniform. Garnett had played 12 years in Minnesota, was the face of that franchise and was a member of the Timberwolves just 11 months ago, but in looking at Garnett in that uniform, it felt like his time in Minnesota happened a million years ago.

First off is the obligatory "We are the Champions" video.



The next video is a great commercial from Reebok. The commercial shows that even Red Auerbach (wherever he is) is getting enjoyment from the Celtics championship victory. I admit, I got chills (and a couple of goosebumps) while watching it.



Finally, with the Celtics winning title #17, and me being a child of the 80's, I have to post the video for the song that I most associate with the number 17 (and has nothing to do with basketball). ENJOY!!

Random Thoughts...

...while the countdown continues towards the start of tonight's Game 6 of the NBA Finals.

Let's satisfy the numerologists out there right from the start with these two number-related facts: Today is 6/17, which converts into Game 6 being played on the 17th of June, and a Celtics win tonight would be there - 17th NBA title. June 17 is always the birthday of Grady Rivers, the father of Celtics coach Doc Rivers. Grady passed away last November, and it would be fitting for the Celtics to win the title on the birthday of their head coach (though the same thing was said about Sunday - it would have been nice for the C's to win on Father's Day for their coach).

If the Lakers win this evening, would we looking at possible payback from the Sports Gods for the Red Sox coming back from a 3-0 deficit in the 2004 ALCS (which has never been accomplished in any sport) and a 3-1 deficit in the 2007 ALCS? The Lakers are attempting to come back from a 3-1 series deficit which has never occured in NBA finals history.

This would be payback in the same way that the Patriots got in failing to win Super Bowl 42. A team led by an offense that put up the best season in NFL history, with a good, bend-but-don't break defense taking on an opponent that no one thought had a chance to win. An underdog opponent, who by the way played the favorites tough in an earlier matchup during the regular season. That scenario sure sounds a lot like how people were looking at the Rams-Patriots Super Bowl 36 matchup.

In surfing the web the past couple of days, and watching the end of the Game 5 broadcast, it's very strange seeing no one giving LA a shot to win this evening. It could happen, as this very well could be the game that Kobe plays like the 2008 MVP and the Lakers steal a game at the Garden to tie the series.

If the Lakers win tonight, they will win the series.

I'm moving the usual YouTube Tuesday post from Tuesday to Wednesday this week to see if the theme of this week's YouTube posting will be Title 17 for Boston or something different.

If Boston wins tonight, expect to see more of these type of videos on Wednesday.



If not, expect to see more of these type of videos, which will sum up the feeling of Boston Celtics fans heading into a Game 7.


http://view.break.com/519904 - Watch more free videos

Random Thoughts, Sights, and Sounds - A Potpourri of Knowledge

The weekly Random Thoughts posting isn't going to be so Random today, as there will be a thread that binds all the thoughts together. That thread is memorable playoff performances.

Spurred on by the momentous comeback of the Boston Celtics over the Lakers on Thursday, and the constant beating over the head by Messrs Ryan, Shaughnessy and Massarotti about how fortunate we are in being Boston sports fans right now (by the way guys, we get it, we know how lucky we are, so stop telling us), I've decided to list some of the more memorable playoff performances we've seen over the past few years.

Any discussion of memorable Boston playoff performances in the 21st century will begin with this one.

The Snow Bowl game: Adam Vinateri's 46-yard field goal to send the game against Oakland into overtime, and his subsequent game winner, with Lonnie Paxton's snow angel performance on of the memorable images.

Super Bowl 36: Tom Brady's version of 'The Drive' in the final 1:21 led to Vinateri's 49-yard game winner as time expired. Lasting image of this game: Brady slapping Drew Bledsoe on the shoulder pads and screaming 'We Did It'.

2004 ALCS Game 6: The Bloody Sock game. Curt Schilling battles through a right ankle injury so bad his tendons were held together with super glue and duct tape to pitch 7 strong innings. Alex Rodriguez takes a girly slap at Bronson Arroyo in the eighth inning and the Red Sox hold on to force Game 7.

2004 ALCS Game 4: Schilling's heroics in Game 6 wouldn't have been possible if it wasn't for 'The Steal' by Dave Roberts in the ninth inning and scoring the tying run off Mariano Rivera and Big Papi's walkoff homer in extra innings.

2008 NBA Finals Game 4: The Boston Celtics pull off the greatest comeback in NBA finals history (no team had ever trailed by as much, 21 points, at the end of the first quarter, as they did) against Los Angeles. They added to their degree of difficulty by doing it on the road. The funny thing is, as I was watching the game, I wasn't anxious or nervous about the Celtics' ability to be able to come back and win the game.

2004 ALCS Game 5: Pedro's last start at Fenway in a Red Sox uniform was a win turned into a win for Boston, as they overcame a 5-3, 8th inning deficit to win the game in extra innings on a walk off single by Big Papi.

2007 ALCS Game 5: Josh Beckett proves again how clutch he is in the postseason by dominating the Cleveland Indians, and overcoming the distraction of his ex-girlfriend signing the National Anthem (nice try, Cleveland) to keep the Red Sox alive in the series.

2004 World Series Game 4: I don't know if you've heard but the Red Sox win in Game 4 gave them their first World Series title in 86 years.

Super Bowl 38: Another Patriots Super Bowl win on a last-second field goal by Vinateri. Ho-Hum.

2007 World Series Game 4: For the second time in three years the Red Sox sweep the World Series from an inferior National League foe. They are the first team to win more than one world title in the 21st century. H0-Hum.

Honorable Mention: Pats win Super Bowl 39 (third title in four years). The Celtics win in Game 3 of the 2002 Eastern Conference Finals against New Jersey (overcame a 24-point fourth quarter deficit). Pedro shuts down Cleveland in Game 5 of the 1999 ALDS. as the Sox overcame a 2-0 series deficit to win 3 games to 2 (Yes, I know it happened in the 20th century, but Pedro was so dominate it had to be included).

And there are plenty of other Red Sox and Patriots performances that can be included in this list. The Pats-Colts playoff games, The Red Sox series against Oakland in 2003 and 2004. Pedro throwing Zimmer to the ground.

What are some of your memorable playoff contests in the past few years?

Also, Happy Father's day to all the Dad's (including me) out there.

Work Hazard

Yes, I know there yes been a dearth of entries this past week (I was at a work conference for the majority of the week), but we're back and today we're sliding 'YouTube Tuesday' over to Thursday.

So, today's theme for 'YouTube Thursday' are hazards at work. It's a certainty that there's a high level of risk in some professions, such as policeman, fireman, construction worker, etc., but who would have thought that those who sell cars or do fluff pieces for morning news broadcasts are risking their lives on a day-to-day basis.

This car commercial was pretty entertaining with the whole 'Top Gun' Theme even before tragedy strikes. Then it's off-the-hook hilarious. "Keep it Rollin"




This stupid general assignment news reporter (woman on the left) will eventually show us what happens when you attempt to cheat in a competition of squashing grapes. Oooh, ohhh, ohhh, aww, aww, aww, aww. I can't breathe. The majority of newscasters are stupid people. Take note of the two stiffs who appear at the 1:08 mark. If it's not scripted for them and put up on a teleprompter they have no idea how to function. I truly believe that they would pull a Ron Burgundy and read, "Go Fuck Yourself, San Diego" if someone put it in front of them.

Random Thoughts, Sights, and Sounds - A Potpourri of Knowledge

There was so much going on in the world of Boston Sports on Thursday with the Red Sox-Rays battle for first place in the AL East and Game 1 Celtics-Lakers NBA finals to fill up the Random Thoughts, Sights and Sounds post for this week. There were enough sights and sounds to give us enough to talk about for a while.

From the Red Sox-Rays game:

You had the Coco brawl with James Shields. While Dioner Novarro held Coco down Jonny Gomes and Carl Crawford spent their time in the pile taking swings at Coco. Seeing Coco run out to the mound as quickly as he did goes to show that he's not planning to sleepwalk thru the entire season after losing his starting job to Jacoby Ellsbury.

I love the Tampa player at the 32-second mark trying feverishly to get his shoe back on so he can get back into the fray.



Who knew Manny had the ability and the makeup to get angry?

Jacoby injuring his wrist and having to leave the game. Players on the Red Sox are dropping like flies, like my fantasy baseball team (which lost another player to the DL- Carlos Pena). The Sox have put nine players on the DL so far this year, Beckett, Schilling, Dice-K, Buchholz, Ortiz, Brandon Moss, Alex Cora, Sean Casey, Mike Lowell. Various players have had smaller nagging injuries (Jacoby, Manny, J.D. Drew, Okijima).

Whew!!! Now we can talk about the Celtics and their Game 1 battle with the Lakers in the NBA Finals.

The biggest moment(s) of the game came in the third quarter when Paul Pierce injured his knee, was carried off the floor and put in the wheelchair to get to the locker room. Then he game back two minutes later and drained consecutive three-pointers to give the Celtics a lead they would never relinquish.



Just another ordinary ho-hum day in the world of Boston sports.

Injuries

During this baseball season, I haven't spent much time blogging about my fantasy baseball team, called, what else, ChicksDigTheLongBall.

Quite frankly who in this spacious world we call the internet would care about my fantasy baseball team. Maybe the 13 other fantasy baseball owners in my league would, but that number is probably overstated as several of them don't care about their own teams.

The reason I'm subjecting you to the world of fantasy baseball today, instead of the things that people care most about, bashing John Tomase, pics of hot chicks, cool toys and great music, comes down to a single word - injuries.

I need to vent about the injuries that are happening to the players on my team, because this is getting ridicioulous.

My top overall pick - Jake Peavy on DL, elbow injury (never a good thing for a pitcher), second pick David Ortiz (whom I traded Hanley Ramirez to get - how's that looking now?), possibly out for the season. My starting outfield - Vernon Wells, Brad Haupe, Josh Willingham - all on the DL. The one saving grace is despite the injuries I've been able to trade away Haupe and Ortiz for some quality players (Xavier Nady, Carlos Pena, Ryan Ludwick, Johnny Cueto).

That would be like the Red Sox losing Josh Beckett, Ortiz, Manny Ramirez, Jacoby Ellsbury and J.D. Drew to injury.

The best injury of all, while not a lengthy one - but a good one nevertheless, Carlos Guillen missed a couple of games because of???? - hemorrhoids.

C'mon, you're going to go to Jim Leyland's office and tell your skip, "Skip, I can't go today. My ass is killing me."

"Put some cream on your ass and get it the hell out of here and out onto the field. Let me finish my cigarette in peace."

Tribute

The theme for today's 'You Tube Tuesday' on The McLovin Digs Chicks (because they don't taste like Chicken) Blog is Tribute.

The big news of the week so far is this. It was announced late yesterday, and you could hear the sounds of grown men screaming, "NO" all over New England.

While on YouTube, I found this tribute to one of New England's favorite sports anchors, Hazel Mae. It's kind of creepy - but who cares?



The second video pays homage to the classic Boston Celtics Los Angeles Lakers finals battles of the past and gives us a taste of what this series might be like.



And finally, what Tribute-Themed post would be complete without 'Tribute' from Tenacious D, because it's the 'Greatest and Best Song in the World'.

A Couple of Cry Babies

There were many things that happened over the weekend, so let's get on with it.

As I mentioned last Friday, the 80's redux continues - Of course I'm talking about Eddie Murphy and Beverly Hills Cop 4.

Actually, I mean the Celtics and Lakers. All went according to plan and the Celtics and the Lakers will meet for the NBA title starting Thursday night.

The fact that there's five off days between the Game 6 of the Detroit series and the first game of the NBA finals, certainly lends itself to many insignificant topics being discussed during that time span. The craziest topic I've heard and read about is that the games start too late (9 p.m.) on the East Coast for working people and kids.

I'm already tired of hearing Gerry Callahan rant about it on WEEI and pussy number 2 Eric Wilbur moan about it on Boston.com.

The Celtics are in the NBA finals, something that seemed unfathomable at this time last year, and people in the media are bitching about the late starting time. That's like winning the lottery and complaining about having to pay the taxes on your windfall.

The only reason Callahan is making a big stink about it is (no, not because he's the biggest baby in the world) because he has to get up at 4 a.m. for a 6 a.m. show. According to him kids or adults can't stay up till midnight (or they'll turn into little crybabies like Callahan) to watch a game.

Have people forgotten that the classic Celtics-Lakers matchups in the 80's (when I was a teenager) started at 9 p.m. No one complained then, I stayed up to watch the games - and was able to function at a pretty high level the next day.

In reading Wilbur's column about the late starts I particularly liked this line:

"Maybe you can include on your college transcript why you managed only a B- on the final for a class you aced all year long."

Which would be the case if college students were still in school now - most, if not all of them, are out. Way to be in touch with the readership Wilbur. I'm in graduate school and I'm glad the game is starting at 9 p.m. on Thursday - why you ask? Because I have class until 9:45, which will allow me to watch most of the game after class is over.

And I liked this line as well.

How about the sixth-grader from Worcester who gets home past 1 in the morning only to arise for school five hours later. As long as he picks up a Diet Pepsi Max on the way to the bus stop, what does it matter?

Actually, Wilbur it doesn't matter. How about the fact that that sixth grader is going to spend most of the day this Friday or next Monday telling everyone in school how cool it was to be at a Finals game and he'll be the envy of everyone in his class. Also, is Diet Pepsi Max the beverage choice of a New Generation? I would have guessed Mountain Dew.

So to all the Callahan's and Wilbur's out there - Take a nap, get rid of your skirt and suck it up - pansies. This working stiff/graduate student (and many others) will gladly be up to midnight (and later) watching the Celtics in the Finals. We're not going to be zombies if we don't get the amount of beauty sleep that Callahan and Wilbur require.

With Manny Ramirez hitting home run 500 (and subsequently 501 and 502) against Baltimore, It got me to thinking about what I would have asked for from Manny and the club to return the milestone ball to Manny. All that Damon and Jason Woo wanted were a few signed ball and bats from Manny to give back the ball.

That's very noble and commendable of them, not holding up the Red Sox and Ramirez for a King's Ransom, which would have been very possible. Eddie Murray's 500th homer field $500,000 at auction.

Here's what I would have asked for: 4 lower box seat tickets to every Red Sox home playoff game for the rest of my life and tickets to three Yankees games a year at Fenway for the rest of my life. One game would be in the Monster Seats, one game in the State Street Pavilion seats, and one game in the Right Field Roof seats.

That sounds fair.